50 Questions For God

  1. What happened to Natalie Holloway?
  2. Do you think east coast rap is better than west coast rap?
  3. Why did you invent fat?
  4. What is your favorite internet meme?
  5. Can you explain the popularity of anime to me please?
  6. Do people with mullets know they have mullets????
  7. WTF happened at the end of Lost?
  8. Do you really love me?
  9. Can I have a jet ski?
  10. What do you think about Lana del Rey?
  11. Why did you make Taylor Swift’s life so hard + full of breakups?
  12. What happens when I die?
  13. Why did you make dogs live only 1/7 as long as humans? Why do I have to buy seven dogs and have seven dog funerals [probably] in my life? Seems mean.
  14. Why is sex so weird looking?
  15. Do you really care if I go to church?
  16. Are there ghosts?
  17. Are there aliens?
  18. Could Jurassic Park really happen? Why or why not?
  19. Do you sometimes LOL at Bill O’Reilly or does he make you feel too bleak?
  20. What would it feel like to jump into a pool of pistachio pudding?
  21. What happened to my dog that ran away from home?
  22. Have you seen my spare cell phone charger?
  23. Do you think Inception was a cool movie? How many times did you see it in the theaters?
  24. Did Ryan Adams really write the Heartbreaker album, or was that you?
  25. Do I need (more) therapy?
  26. Do you really care about abortion?
  27. What platform do you think I should host my website on?
  28. Do cell phones cause cancer?
  29. Can you explain to me what my ex’s problem was?
  30. What’s up with 2012?
  31. How ‘bout those Vikings?
  32. Can you pretty please make Aaron Rodgers my boyfriend?
  33. What is everyone on the internet so mad about?
  34. Did you make child birth painful because you hate women?
  35. What is your favorite thing to eat off a grill?
  36. If you had to go to a desert island with only three things, what would you pick?
  37. Do you think I will ever get with a totally awesome guy or probably not?
  38. What do I need to improve the most about myself?
  39. Where does the water in Devil’s Kettle go?
  40. Do you think grad school is ‘worth it’?
  41. Where can I buy the best tacos in the world?
  42. Do you wish you had a bigger internet presence?
  43. How are you going to update your brand to appeal to a younger demographic?
  44. Do you ever feel sad that you don’t get to use Twitter?
  45. Do you ever feel really, really left out that you don’t get to have a romantic crush? Don’t you get bored/ lonely?
  46. Is it rape if you are both blacked out?
  47. Who should I vote for? Does it matter?
  48. Do you think Cosmo is cool/ interesting/ fun or a tool of the patriarchy?
  49. Is this mole cancerous?
  50. F/M/K Tim Tebow, Barack Obama, Seth Rogen TC mark


More From Thought Catalog

  • God

    Dammit Chrissy, you know I don’t have time for this

    • http://twitter.com/Kevuhnn Kevin Wild

      but you did have time to post a comment.

      • God


  • https://twitter.com/#!/ZachAmes macgyver51

    51. Can you make these terrible American Apparel ads on TC go away?

    • Anonymous

       I never understand when people complain about ads.  YES, they are annoying, but they also pay for ThoughtCatalog to exist.  As long as there are no ads on wikipedia, I’m a happy camper.

      • https://twitter.com/#!/ZachAmes macgyver51

        I never understand when people pitch a fit over sarcastic comments. My comment was more in relation to the content of the ads, the American Apparel part.

      • Anonymous

        i was hardly pitching a fit, plus it’s next to impossible to understand sarcasm via the internet.  

      • God

        Be not afraid, My Children, for I give you the gift of life: sartalics

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=506498512 Leah Cox

    “Do people with mullets know they have mullets????”

  • Zephyrous

    52. Are you really watching when I’m picking my nose and other supposedly private moments?

  • God

    Kill Tim Tebow, marry Barack Obama, fuck Seth Rogen. 

    • Satan

      called it

    • Yahweh

      The prophets are prophesying lies in my name. I have not sent them or appointed them or spoken to them. They are prophesying to you false visions, divinations, idolatries and the delusions of their own minds.

  • Anonymous

    #53. When will TC go back to having more articles that don’t have a number in the name of the article?

  • Age

    Aaron Rodgers. There’s a “d” there. 

  • Michelle O

    #51 will I ever learn to spell my president’s name correctly? (he’s definitely the ‘marry’).

  • http://twitter.com/hrhment Hunter

    22! Ask for me too.

  • God

    This is really the worst. 

  • A.

    7. WTF happened at the end of Lost?

  • Anonymous

    I think God would even want to kill Tim Tebow.

  • Anonymous

    Nice “Jennifer’s Body” reference:)

    • http://twitter.com/xsssy xsssy

      It is a real thing in Minnesota! I have seen it!

  • http://www.about.me/tanyasalyers Tanya Salyers

    lol @ #50

  • Eliz

    Haha.  Made me LOL.  Good comic touch!

  • http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/if-you-were-looking-for-god-2/ If You Were Looking For God | Thought Catalog

    […] you were looking for God, I would tell you to shift your shape and become a fly on the wall in the home of two […]

  • http://www.itmakesmestronger.com/2012/09/if-you-were-looking-for-god/ Only L<3Ve @ ItMakesMeStronger.com

    […] you were looking for God, I would tell you to shift your shape and become a fly on the wall in the home of two […]

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