No matter how many apps you use or how careful you are in weeding out the potential nut jobs, dating can still suck. Maybe this is because we don’t really know how to date anymore.
“Netflix and chill,” sure, but actually getting to know someone and beginning a relationship can be extremely challenging.
In the ABC News documentary Swiped, they talk to dating experts and young singles about how tricky it is to navigate dating in the modern world. Even with so many apps like Tinder, Hinge and Bumble, you’d think finding your soulmate would be as easy as a touch.
Writer and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher says, “Courtship has changed more in the last ten years than it has in the last ten thousand years. Our ancestors lived on a farm and there were a lot of arranged marriages, and today we’re marrying to please ourselves and we’re doing it through the internet.
Fisher says that there are three things we’re immediately judged on when it comes to dating.
1. Your teeth
Fisher says, “Your teeth tell a great deal about how old you are [and] your health.” In fact, your dental identity indicates our age and gender, and teeth-grinding specifically indicates psychological, lifestyle and personality traits. For instance, if you smoke, drink too much coffee, or if you have a great deal of anxiety, frustration, or anger in your life.
2. Your grammar
“Your grammar says a lot about your sociological background [and] education.” Many people find bad grammar in a dating profile or in person as a real turn-off, and think that if you don’t know the difference between “there” and “their,” you’re not worthy of wasting any time on.
3. Your self-confidence
Fisher explains, “Your self-confidence tells a good deal about your emotional stability.” How we feel about ourselves can impact our relationships. If we don’t feel good about ourselves, we have no positive emotional energy to focus on another person.
We’ve been built with a number of fast-acting special skills that can aid us when meeting someone for the first time.
“The brain is very well built to try and size somebody up immediately,” Fisher says.