Perhaps nothing defines the friendship between two women so much as the relationships they have with other people. For better or for worse, the men your best friend dates will test the waters of your friendship.
1. The First Love
They will be young, and a little naive. She will imagine their wedding in vivid detail and you will plan color schemes. He will be the standard to which she compares her future loves. This heartbreak will be the hardest, the most visceral. You will listen to her cry, pretend to believe her when she says she has moved on. Years later, when he announces his engagement to someone else, you and your best friend will do shots of tequila and you will tell her she dodged a bullet as she wonders if he was the one who got away.
2. The Player
The quintessential bad boy. He will probably be a rebound. He’ll be into skydiving or ride a motorcycle. Your best friend will throw caution to the wind, going along with his rock and roll lifestyle for a while but all the time thinking that she will be the one to tame him. She won’t, because men like this cannot be tamed. By the time she realizes this, he will have moved on to the next girl, another broken heart waiting to happen. She’ll get over him quickly, and you’ll never breathe an “I told you so,” but will be secretly grateful that she got out of the relationship nearly unscathed.
3. The Young Professional
He’s a doctor, lawyer, or engineer. Possibly an accountant. He’s either a mama’s boy or constantly talks about how he distanced himself from his family and is a “self-made man”. His car is flashy and he promises a bright future but the truth is that his wallet will always be closer to his heart than she is. After the breakup, you’ll take her to a pawn shop, sell all the jewelry he gave her, then use the cash to fund a spa weekend.
4. The Trust Fund Baby
Similar to “The Young Professional”. He doesn’t have the same chip on his shoulder, though, because he’s had everything given to him on a silver platter since the day he was born. He’s either got a great job (scored through his family, naturally) or he’s living off his parents’ money. He’s got money and he flaunts it, along with his playboy charm.Your best friend will consider marrying him for his fabulous vacation home, but she’ll soon grow tired of his slick moves and dump him. While she’s not too upset about this breakup, by the time your best friend leaves this guy you’ll have your breakup routine refined to an art so you’ll dutifully down shots of tequila at a bar where the trust fund baby has a running tab and charge them to his account.
5. The Holy Grail
He dresses well, doesn’t swear, and goes to church every Sunday. Your best friend will experience a religious reawakening with this guy. You’ll suspend your disbelief and be happy that she’s happy, but after she starts texting you daily Bible verses and begging you to come on church retreats with her, you’ll stage an intervention. A couple years after the breakup, this guy will either be a priest or an avowed atheist.
6. The Package
He’s smart and successful and treats your best friend like a queen. You’re thrilled she’s finally found a great guy, but secretly terrified he will be the one to take her away from you. You begin contemplating a future in which you are not the most important person in your best friend’s life. She reassures you that you’ll always be her best friend, but still that hesitation lingers. Gradually, you will see little changes in her. Good ones. She smiles more, laughs more, becomes more confident. After a while, you hope that this is really the right man, but even if he’s not, you and your best friend will always have each other.