I feel like giving up. Right now, I want to curl up in my bed, cry until I fall asleep, and sleep for God knows how long. But something inside of me is saying “hey…you…it’s ok. Those tears rolling down your cheeks are right where they need to be. You’re laying in that comfortable bed so you can rest. It’s ok to feel this way. Feel it. And you will be just fine.”
Life can get overwhelming sometimes. Life can downright suck. It can make you want to scream, smash something into a million pieces, and cry from the depths of your soul until there isn’t anything left to give this world. But then, life can be so beautiful, amazing, and inspiring in such a way that you remember why you’re here, and you feel like you’re almost on the brink of just knowing the whole damn universe. That’s a lot of emotion to handle.
But you know what? We’re human. We were given emotions for a reason. We’re supposed to feel them. And although they can be so ridiculously confusing, and way too much to handle sometimes, we are given this gift. So use it. Feel these feelings. All of them. Especially when you feel like giving up.
Feel that hurt. Feel the pain. The anger. The sadness. The loneliness. The hopelessness. The betrayal. The worthlessness. Feel the “oh my God, just kill me now” feeling. Feel it all. It doesn’t mean that you are any of those things. Those feelings don’t define who you are. It’s just your soul trying to heal you. It wants you to feel these things so that you can release them. You need to release these feelings so that you can get back to living, and relishing in this beautiful life.
Perfect example: when I started writing this, I felt pretty crappy. My car broke down (for the 3rd time in 4 months), and I have to pay over $1k to get it fixed. I don’t have that much money to my name right now. I got a paycheck in the mail that is 1/3 less than what I was expecting. I lost my voice yesterday so I missed out on an opportunity for an audition. And to top it all off, I was just played by a man who I thought was generally into me for who I was, after years of closing myself off from the dating world.
All within a week. Sounds pretty sucky, right? Obviously there are way worse situations in this world, but at that moment in time, my world felt pretty chaotic. Good news is, I actually feel pretty good right now. Why? Because I felt those emotions. I felt them, and now they’re starting to leave. I tried to remedy this pain by reading inspiring quotes and stories about “when it rains, it pours”. I was searching YouTube for motivational videos, by speakers with whom have inspired me in the past (Prince ea, Abraham hicks, and Kyle cease. Phenomenal, connected people by the way).
I was even searching through my contacts to see who I could call and talk to, to make me feel better. Nothing was working. So, I picked up my phone and started typing away with tears streaming, not having a clue what I was going to say. But something inside me said to do this. It kept bugging me. I now see why.. I was meant to do this, not only to help me out, and make me feel better, but to also help someone else out.
If you are reading this, something brought you here. Whether it’s life’s overwhelming, chaotic-ness, or just simple curiosity, you’re here. And I’m here to tell you that it’s all going to be ok. It always will be no matter what you’re going through. You are so much stronger and resilient than you believe or feel right now. Keep pushing forward.
Why? Because from my personal experience, every time it torrential downpours on my life, a breakthrough is right around the corner. Yes. A breakthrough. Something amazing, a reward per se, is waiting on the other side of this ridiculous mess. It happens to me every single time, and it’s manifesting itself for you. Right now. Always remember that. It always gets better.