There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss you and your beautiful darkness. Even though you might never come back, thank you for coming into my life. Because of you I have learned some things and my life has been made better from it. I am still hoping that you’ll come back so we can give ‘us’ a try, but if you never do thank you for stopping by for a little while.
And if you ever read this, thank you for being you.
You taught me and introduced me to so many things. Some of them seem rather trivial and one of them lead to discovering a great truth about life. On one hand you introduced me to comic books and explained to me the intricacies of the DC and Marvel universes. Because of you I can hold conversations about it like I’ve spent a great deal of time reading the comics. I have started reading some of them now and they are a great escape from reality. You introduced me to the idea of a “trope” and how to enjoy comedy shows that are shockingly irreverent yet can be appreciated for the truths they point out. And there are many more little things that have stayed with me.
But most of all you taught me to embrace who I am.
You taught me to embrace the darker parts of me. You considered yourself to be dark yet you brought so much light and color into my world and now that you’re gone it has faded back to black and white. You knew who you were and you owned it all, even your flaws. I think that’s a large part of what made you so attractive to me, the way you were confident in yourself and never apologized for who you were.
Because of you I’ve embraced the darkest parts of me. I let myself feel those feelings and have those thoughts because they are part of who I am. Without them I would not be the person I am, the girl I show the world. I won’t apologize for who I am anymore. I won’t apologize for the way I feel. I’m not embarrassed by my interests or my atypical height. Others can accept me for who I am or move right along.
I have learned to accept who I am.
I have by no means perfected it. There are times when I wish I was shorter or cuter or was someone else. It is only human to feel that way at times and it is part of who I am. You showed me that I am smart and funny and that being able to geek out isn’t a bad thing. I am always trying to grow and to become a better ‘me’ and you helped me do that. Just being you helped me to be me.
You might think you were bad for me, but you were the opposite. You were so good for me in so many more ways than you could imagine.
So thank you for being you.