Writing this article as a self-help author and relationship expert may seem counterintuitive, but if you take the time to really read through this in its entirety and give yourself a realistic look, you may actually see a little room for improvement in yourself.
That little insight you gain from this article will not only help you become more grounded, it will also help you improve your relationships because you’ll be able to see what habits you’re bringing to the table that work to either help or hinder your interactions with others.
So without further adieu, let’s take a look at why you’re probably not all that you think you are.
1. You Unfriend People Who Don’t Agree With You.
One of the best measures of maturity and intelligence is the ability to listen to and respect the opinions of others who don’t necessarily agree with your own. In other words, yes, you can still be friends with people you don’t agree with.
Use differences of opinions and beliefs as an opportunity to expand your horizons, learn and grow, and who knows? You may just learn something!
2. You Gossip Behind Other People’s Backs.
Nothing good comes from gossip. It’s often untrue and almost always hurtful, and, typically, people who gossip are very insecure. A good-hearted person who is secure within themselves doesn’t feel the need to tear down and criticize others.
3. You Inflate Your Accomplishments.
Have you ever noticed that Nobel Prize winners and other legitimately accomplished people never seem to embellish their credentials? The reason for this is that they don’t have to.
If you find yourself needing to inflate or create accomplishments to help others perceive you differently, consider taking the steps you need to take to become a person of value. Go to school, learn a skill, lose the weight; do what you need to do so you don’t have live behind a false persona.
4. You Never Show Your Vulnerable Side.
Tough guys and mean girls are nothing but bullies who are emotionally stunted. Compassion, kindness and empathy will always get you further in life; if you don’t think this is true, always keep in mind that people are usually more inclined to help people they like.
5. You Can’t Take Constructive Criticism.
Just because someone criticizes you, it doesn’t mean they’re devaluing you and telling you that you’re a horrible person. They’re just letting you know that there’s a little room for improvement.
Of course I’m not talking about the type of person who is hypercritical, I’m talking about the supervisor who is helping you do a better job or the parent, friend or relative who is trying to offer you guidance to help stop you from making the same mistakes they made.
Use constructive criticism as an opportunity to learn from others’ mistakes rather than cheating yourself and getting angry and having an attitude about it.
6. You Think You’re An Exception To All The Rules.
Simply put, your refusal to follow rules makes it exceptionally difficult for those of us who do, and quite often your refusal to follow rules (and laws) only paves the way for you to create more rules.
There’s no prize at the end of the day for being the most defiant, and it really only makes you look immature and silly. Do yourself and the rest of us a favor and do what you’re supposed to.
7. You’re Not Willing To Do The Work That’s Really Needed To Accomplish Your Goals.
Stop being entitled. No one is going to offer you lots of money and a huge house to live in that’s beautifully decorated for doing absolutely nothing. No one owes you a living so, please, go out and earn it.
Do the jobs that other people think they’re too good for and go the extra mile when you don’t have to because that’s exactly what it takes to become successful.
Just because your friends and family think you’re the most and the best “insert the blank,” the rest of us don’t. Show everyone why you’re different and worth more than others rather than just appearing entitled and lazy.
8. You’re Afraid To Take Risks.
Living off your parents isn’t amazing in any way, shape or form. Get your own job, earn your own money, buy your own car and move into your own place.
Of course there’s always a risk when you branch out on your own, but being fearful of growing up and being a self-reliant adult will only limit you from accomplishing all that you’re able to.
Get a job, save money and start living life without the expectation that your parents will bail you out. Once you reach a certain age, it’s not their responsibility.
Grow up. Self-sufficient, confident, mature people are not only happier, but they are also more attractive to others.
9. You Hide Behind Fake Profiles And Relationships.
People who are emotionally healthy and have fulfilling lives don’t hide behind fake social media profiles and entice others into relationships based on a fictional person.
If you’re one of the people out there who has a fake profile (or lots of them), you may want to take a good look at yourself and figure out what’s missing inside yourself.
If this is something you do on a regular basis and can’t seem to bring yourself to stop and also be honest with the people you’re deceiving, then it’s time to consider seeking help from a licensed mental health professional to help you get to the root of your issues (trust me, you have them).
10. You Don’t Take Responsibility For Your Actions.
If you have a tendency to turn things around on people when you’re at fault and pass the buck when it comes to taking responsibility for your actions, then I have to tell you, you’re not as amazing as you think you are.
Part of being accomplished, mature and pretty much a good person is the ability to take responsibility for your actions. If you make a mistake, own it. If you hurt someone’s feelings, apologize. It’s really as simple as that, and I promise you, no one will think less of you for doing so.