It’s Not Your Fault That I Still Love You

Its not your fault
Our worlds collided
And fate led us to the same place at the same time
That our eyes locked and communicated well before the first hello
I came to you and introduced myself
I was the star gravitating around your orbit

Its not your fault
That I insisted we go out on a date
And that one date turned into three
We couldn’t fight it. As much as we wanted to
Our chemistry was so palpable; we could almost reach out and touch it
Something felt right …

Its not your fault
There was distance between us
That to see each other meant a 6-hour flight
Hours of facetime and messaging
Waiting weeks just to fall once again into each others embrace
But patiently waited is what we did

Its not your fault
That you were my perfection
And that I fell in love with you … fully and wholeheartedly
I couldn’t resist it … I didn’t want to
I was breathless
And you were magical

Its not your fault
That it was too good to be true
That it all went so smoothly at the beginning
It was our fairytale after all
We were happy
We were the fantastic pair
Magnetic …

Its not your fault
We were intense
Our love
Our fights
Our misunderstandings
We struggled
With the expectations
The emotional turbulence formed cracks in our foundation

Its not your fault
We were different … too different
You couldn’t accept my mistakes
Accept me for who I was
That you couldn’t trust me
When all I ever did was want you .. and nobody else but you

Its not your fault
You treated me bad
Not the way a man should treat a woman
You with your mind games, judgments’ and moods
Leaving me with insecurities, confusion and dependency
Trying to make sense of it all …

Its not your fault
That you came from a broken home
And never witnessed an enduring love between a mother and father
Unconditional love from a parent to a child
Or felt the security of a stable, loving home

Its not your fault
You couldn’t keep your promise
To never break my heart
Sometimes promises are too big to keep
And you shattered mine … into pieces

Its not your fault
My instincts were too strong
And in the end, I had to make a choice
To take care of myself or to follow my heart
Perhaps I wasn’t strong enough to manage us
Strong enough to handle you
I wasn’t ready to let you go, but I had to

Its not your fault
You didn’t fight for it
Didn’t make me feel like I was worth it
That we were worth it
You gave up … so easily
Why didn’t you fight for it?

Its not your fault
That you didn’t turn out to be my happily ever after
And you are no longer around
To see the flood of tears that stream down my face
Or to feel the pain in my heart
My dreams are fading
But I still miss you

Its not your fault
You will forever haunt me
Lingering in my thoughts
And in my dreams on those rare nights when I actually find the peace to fall asleep

Its not your fault
I still love you
Because my sweet boo … that is my fault entirely.