In My Head, I’m The Perfect Package. So Why Doesn’t He Love Me Back?

After falling in love with the idea of being in like with this guy, I learned that he doesn’t want me back. I haven’t heard anything back from him since our last date. It’s not even like he was my dream boy, it’s the idea that I wasn’t even considered in the running for a friend position in his life- that hurts the most.

Naturally, being an introvert, a scholar, and a marketer I find myself reflecting on why my personal marketing strategy was a complete failure? It’s hard not to internalize rejection when you are always told that you are a dream girl with the complete package and then be casually tossed onto the back burner.

Inquiring minds need to know why! There must be a disconnect between what I offer and how he perceives my qualities. I just need a theory to justify the other party’s indecision to call me. How can this guy not see my core competencies and the qualities that I offer? I can only be so resilient in bouncing back from these heartbreaks. I go on tirades about what’s wrong with me! I make the mistake to completely disregard all the other potential loves that exist beyond this one guy.

Putting your heart on the line isn’t easy, especially for me. I don’t intentionally play hard to get, but it comes across that way because I am so guarded and difficult to love. It’s amazing he even got to this point with me, he crossed multiple proxies, exude some level of bravery and of course a light dose of serendipity was involved. This isn’t some controlled social experiment where both parties consent to an emotionally detached casual affair, my very fragile heart is involved in this experiment.

When I meet someone who has passed my mental screening checklist, the hopeless romantic carelessly slips out. Heck we got married and took out a mortgage all inside my head. I project the possibility of success somewhere in the distant future and more often than not, I miscalculate the risk and over value what this is actually worth.

The only analogy I can come up with that makes sense to my thought process is this: Generally, there are two types of consumers high-end and low end consumers, the rest are hybrids or mixtures of different niches.

Low-end consumers are not willing or able to spend large amounts of money on ridiculously marked up products with comparable specs as the generic brand . As long as a product satisfies his basic needs, he is content and does not desire or care for the extra features. High end consumers value quality, branding, product experience, premium pricing and most importantly the lure of exclusivity.

No matter how much market awareness, premium pricing, product demonstration (HA- yeah right!), convincing and teaching, this low -end consumer is bombarded with- he just can’t buy into it. The high-end love being extended, is out of his love map in what he recognizes to be acceptable or compatible. I just accidentally fell onto his radar- it’s a complete glitch. How could a professional beggar completely appreciate all the qualities that I can offer? How does someone who is so not a connoisseur for fine things recognize the slight differences? They don’t, they pass it up for cheap shots, cheap clones, the ersatz of the high grade product. In their defense, generic brands are fun, chic, easily maintained and most importantly disposable. They often learn that cheaper generic products function if not as equally as their premium counterpart.

I was in transition, contemplating on whether I should re-brand myself. I felt I could cast a wider net with low-end consumers. I went temporarily on sale in the hopes of possibly converting him into a repeat high end buyer. I guess the core values inside of me really does shine through even when I tried to hide it. He even pointed it out, my awesomeness does come through even when I dismissed them, it’s in the aurora we present ourselves in.

It sucks to be rejected, especially when you don’t get a consolation prize! Just kidding! Know that you are the PRIZE. It hurts because you could have given so much, and that he took the opportunity away. You just got to keep telling yourself that the feelings you feel/felt are real, and never let anyone sweep them under the rug. Everyone is a premium niche product, you can always justify your high end markup. No one said one product fits all, but for now I am not going to reinvent my specs or waste anymore of my 11:11 wishes on the hope of a relationship that won’t materialize into something more.

image – Shutterstock

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