A person really close to me once told me,
“Your relationship is only as healthy as the least healthy person in it.”
Now, as much as this spoke VOLUMES to me, it also kept me thinking. Am I the one that is bringing a relationship down? Is it possible that just because I have issues and “damage” that I will be unable to have a healthy relationship? What happens when you add another damaged person in that mix? Are you creating a recipe for disaster? Or can you actually potentially make it work?
Or maybe there is no possible way in hell that it could EVER work. Maybe it is impossible to think that two people who can’t even work through their own shit, can ever possibly find a way to be there for someone else. Could it be that the two of you are just the perfect combination to create a toxic relationship?
Or what if it’s just that, what if, because the two of you both have this damage and pain, you are in the best place possible to understand each other. Maybe, because you both are damaged and broken, you will be able to understand what the other person is going through and help one another to work through these broken pieces. Maybe, you both separately, couldn’t be with a more “healthy” person, but instead a person who can see and empathize with what you’re going through is really the best thing.
Maybe you are the best thing for each other. So what that it takes a little extra work and communication? Is it really a bad thing that you have to work a little harder to understand each other?
Maybe, in the long run it is what will bring you even closer together and prepare you for any difficulties down the road that you may have to face.
How terrible could it be that you guys are talking about these BIG and IMPORTANT things now? You are getting conversations out of the way that are bound to come up down the road anyways. Maybe you’re just saving yourselves time and energy later. You could just be working to get to know each other on a deeper level that some couples take years to even scratch the surface of.
For whatever happens with this relationship, it isn’t your fault for being damaged. Nothing is wrong with you because you have a little extra baggage than the people around you. Don’t let the pain that you’ve been through define you and what you deserve. You are and will always be worthy of a life filled with love, happiness and passion, whether you end up with this other person or not.
Embrace your pain.
Remember how much stronger you are for have been through it.
Remember, that whoever you end up with, whether they too come along with a little extra baggage or not, there is no excuse to ever settle for a life where you are getting treated less than you deserve.
You deserve happiness.
You deserve the world.