Here’s The One Phrase You Need To Stop Saying In Order To Live A Better Life

A person's hand holding up a small yellow flower
Kawin Harasai / Unsplash

How many times have you said “I can’t do that” regarding something you’ve never even tried?

I’m willing to bet there have been at least a few occasions, and I’m here to tell you that the madness needs to stop. Now. 

Vincent Van Gogh once said, “If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

So essentially, if you can’t do something, the way to learn is to just…well, do it. Problem solved.

Way too often we say we can’t do something and we’ve either never tried or we’ve half assed tried once, failed, and gave up.

We make up a story in our head about our capabilities, our strengths, our “enoughness,” and that dictates our behavior.

We make assumptions without testing the waters first.

No wonder why we say we can’t do X or Y. We can’t do it because we never even took the first step to start.

Fear of failure, fear of being judged, fear of not meeting the standards we have set for ourselves or the standards others have set.

We cannot let these hold us back from living authentic lives of joy and fulfillment.

If you want to cook, play an instrument or sport, sing, draw, whatever the hell it may be: go do it.

Approach these tasks with a different attitude than the fear-based one that’s keeping you small.

Tell yourself, “It may be hard but I’ll give it my all until I’ve mastered it.” In this case, commit, be persistent, and practice.

Or approach it as, “I just want to have fun with it; if I’m good at it, that’s a bonus.” 

Don’t pressure yourself to be perfect. Just do it for the joy it brings you. 

In both of these instances, you’re allowing yourself to start because it’s simply what you want to do and you’re not going to let your fear or assumptions stop you.

It’s also important to keep in mind is that sometimes things seem way more overwhelming or complicated than they actually are.

Always start small. A simple recipe. Basic scales. A sketch with very few details.

Take advantage of free resources that can help you, like youtube (you can find tutorials on practically anything. It’s insane but fucking amazing).

In the age where you have access to unlimited information within seconds, there really are no excuses.

In the event that you need some assistance and can afford it, you can also hire someone to train you.

As soon as you start, you will probably realize that it’s easier than you thought.

But like anything else, you won’t know unless you try.

I won’t deny the fact that some people are more talented at certain skills than others and that some things come more naturally to others.

But I hope that you don’t let comparison, fear, or assumptions that you’re not good or that you can never get to a certain level stop you from even trying.

That’s just denying yourself so much potential joy. You’re worthy of that joy, and you’re in control of it too.

So go get it. TC mark

Christie Federico is a Relationship + Sexual Empowerment Coach

Keep up with Christie on Instagram, Twitter and

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