To That Man Across The Street

Mark Asthoff

Every time the moon appears in the sky, I try to hold my tears for memories of that night when we ended every possibility of us still haunt me down that I ended up writing of how our story ended before it could even begin.

So, to the man whose back I watched as he took those steps away from me, away from us, listen. Listen for these were my exact thoughts that I failed to utter when you finally decided to let go of my hand and erase all of my traces in your life.

The moment you started walking away; memories keep coming my way as if telling me to run after you so I can shackle you in my embrace. Believe me, I wanted to but just like you I chose to let go.

Then, I remembered how these all started. It was that night when we felt that connection that just like a magnet pulled us together. We were standing on the other sides of the street with cars passing so fast.

But, when our eyes met everything just stopped as if the universe has conspired to give us all the time we needed to have. So, we slowly made those steps together that changed our lives forever.

And when we were just inches apart, you looked at me in the eye and showed me that smile that got me for awhile. You, then, asked for my number in which I gave with no hesitations. You were so brave to take that risk that I thought you mastered this game like an ace.

Then, our days of texting turned into months. But, you suddenly dropped the question that made me realized I wasn’t ready for this.

I wasn’t ready for this untamed emotion I have towards you. You just came from nowhere and did the things I am not used to. You made me your priority when I am not even used to be part of someone else’s options. You made me the lead in your story that when the spotlight turned into me, my eyes were blinded by lights.

So, I ran with so much fear but you reached for my hand and held it so tight. You reassured me through saying those 3 words in codes which I didn’t believe at first.

Everything was so fast that I couldn’t keep up with your phase. But, you assured me that you’ll be there waiting for me in the end while telling me to take my time. So, I did.

However, you lied. You grew tired that when I arrived and reached for your hand, you held it for a second. But slowly you released it while uttering the words that for a moment made my heart stop.

All I could do was asked, why? Why now? We were so close to our own version of happy ending, but just like that you let go. And I just let you. I let you go without telling you how much I love because I am afraid it won’t mean anything to you anymore.

I just closed my mouth and said those words a thousand times inside my mind hoping it would reach your ears which I know is impossible just like the thought of having us once more.

And I may be a fool to think that if given another chance to do this all over again, I still will. I will still cross that street and meet your stare even I’ll have my heart broken in the end because I met the man my heart would love without having any thoughts of doubt.

So, to that man across the street who I thought would be the prince in my own version of, “they live happily ever after”; please know that my heart is still beating for your name.

Our story may have ended with, “and they lived separately, happily ever after”, but memories of you and I will be treasured forever. For your laughter and corny jokes lingered as if it was saved in a CD to remind me of the time I wasted a love so pure and sincere. TC mark

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