I Don’t Need To Be The Girl Who Knows She’s Met The One (For Now)

Emma Frances Logan Barker
Emma Frances Logan Barker

I’m happy spending my days without having to share every detail with another person. I embrace the freedom I feel, I embrace my lack of obligations to a significant other. I relish in the fact that I have the opportunity to explore all of the fish in the sea.

I don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t want to send “goodmorning” and “goodnight” texts every day, to justify my actions and thought processes, to feel attached. I don’t want to be a girl who knows that she has found the one. The forever one.

I’m glad that I don’t see a forever with anyone but myself. I don’t need to feel anchored to another person right now.

Maybe, eventually, someone will come along who I can’t help but commit to, someone who I want with all of me, someone who I know I will want forever. I just don’t want that kind of commitment right now. If anyone needs me to commit to them, it’s me. I need to commit to myself.

I need to be here for myself, I need to be self-fulfilling, I need to be independent. I need to be selfish. To spend time with and truly understand myself. To be a whole person before I find another.

I don’t want to rave to my friends about having finally found a committed relationship. I want to rave about my accomplishments, all of the new people I’ve met, and the places I’ve traveled to. I want to talk about our careers, our lives, and our families.

I want to feel free to talk to whoever I want in whatever capacity I want. I want to flirt. I want any sort of dating to be casual.

I am allowed to take as much time as I want to be single. If I don’t want to, I don’t ever have to be in a relationship again. If I decide I’m looking for a relationship next week, that’s okay, too. If I want to take a few years to myself, again, that’s completely okay.

Making time for a significant other is not at the top of my priority list right now. I want to create a life for myself, an income for myself, and come to terms with who I am and how I work. I want to spend as much time with my family and my friends as I possibly can. I want to take off and travel somewhere by myself.

I don’t want to be called cutesy nicknames. And I refuse be a “we” instead of an “I.” I can’t even think of attending a party with my friends and being asked where my partner is. I don’t have to deal with the standard guidelines and questions that come with being in a relationship right now, and I am more than satisfied with that. I don’t have to consider a partner in my decisions. I don’t have to answer annoyances like “when’s the wedding?” or “so, is he the one?” or “have you introduced him to your parents?”

I don’t want to commit to anyone right now. I don’t want to feel obliged, attached, or trapped. I love my freedom, my singleness, and my confidence. I love the fact that I’m having single experiences instead of partner experiences. I feel like myself when I’m single, and I’d rather not have it any other way.

I’m not barring myself from the possibility of love. I am simply not looking for it, and I don’t want it. Not right now. TC mark

Related

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus