I Don’t Need To Be The Girl Who Knows She’s Met The One (For Now)

I’m happy spending my days without having to share every detail with another person. I embrace the freedom I feel, I embrace my lack of obligations to a significant other. I relish in the fact that I have the opportunity to explore all of the fish in the sea.

I don’t want to be in a relationship. I don’t want to send “goodmorning” and “goodnight” texts every day, to justify my actions and thought processes, to feel attached. I don’t want to be a girl who knows that she has found the one. The forever one.

I’m glad that I don’t see a forever with anyone but myself. I don’t need to feel anchored to another person right now.

Maybe, eventually, someone will come along who I can’t help but commit to, someone who I want with all of me, someone who I know I will want forever. I just don’t want that kind of commitment right now. If anyone needs me to commit to them, it’s me. I need to commit to myself.

I need to be here for myself, I need to be self-fulfilling, I need to be independent. I need to be selfish. To spend time with and truly understand myself. To be a whole person before I find another.

I don’t want to rave to my friends about having finally found a committed relationship. I want to rave about my accomplishments, all of the new people I’ve met, and the places I’ve traveled to. I want to talk about our careers, our lives, and our families.

I want to feel free to talk to whoever I want in whatever capacity I want. I want to flirt. I want any sort of dating to be casual.

I am allowed to take as much time as I want to be single. If I don’t want to, I don’t ever have to be in a relationship again. If I decide I’m looking for a relationship next week, that’s okay, too. If I want to take a few years to myself, again, that’s completely okay.

Making time for a significant other is not at the top of my priority list right now. I want to create a life for myself, an income for myself, and come to terms with who I am and how I work. I want to spend as much time with my family and my friends as I possibly can. I want to take off and travel somewhere by myself.

I don’t want to be called cutesy nicknames. And I refuse be a “we” instead of an “I.” I can’t even think of attending a party with my friends and being asked where my partner is. I don’t have to deal with the standard guidelines and questions that come with being in a relationship right now, and I am more than satisfied with that. I don’t have to consider a partner in my decisions. I don’t have to answer annoyances like “when’s the wedding?” or “so, is he the one?” or “have you introduced him to your parents?”

I don’t want to commit to anyone right now. I don’t want to feel obliged, attached, or trapped. I love my freedom, my singleness, and my confidence. I love the fact that I’m having single experiences instead of partner experiences. I feel like myself when I’m single, and I’d rather not have it any other way.

I’m not barring myself from the possibility of love. I am simply not looking for it, and I don’t want it. Not right now.