Toxicity comes in many forms. Whether you’ve found yourself in a toxic relationship with a friend, a group of friends, or a significant other, toxicity is harmful to your well-being.
Toxicity might look different to you than it does to someone else. Your toxic relationship might be controlling, dramatic, anxiety-inducing, lonely, or fill you with self-doubt. You may walk on eggshells in conversation with your toxic partner, you may feel angry with them all the time. You might think about how unhappy you are with every passing second. When you recognize that you’re in a toxic relationship, the most valuable thing you’ll do is decide to get yourself out of it.
When you leave your toxic relationship, you will take time to extract all of the toxicity from your life. You might take 6 months, a year, or more to cut yourself off from the drama, but with a lot of time and resilience, it can be done.
You’ll slowly withdraw from any social outings; from spending time with them every weekend, to seeing them once a month, to not seeing them at all. You’ll gradually extract yourself from them.
You’ll go through periods where you’ll feel drawn back into the relationship and have to drag yourself out again.
You might still be wound up in their drama during the extraction period, and your mental well-being might not be at its best, but as long as you remember you’re doing the right thing for you, time will heal all.
When you leave your toxic relationship, you will question if you did the right thing. You’ll reminisce about the good times and inside jokes you had, and about the times when your toxic partner was tolerable. You’ll wonder what you could’ve said or done to fix things, to make yourself and them happy, to keep each other around.
Having memories of those good times is not a bad thing, it’s actually great that you had some positive experiences. But the toxicity will outweigh the good times, and you will realize that there are better times ahead with people who are better for you.
When you leave your toxic relationship, you will wonder if you were the toxic one. You’ll mull over the most dramatic scenes from your relationship and overanalyze everything they said and you said.
Were they the ones walking on eggshells around you? Were you the bad person? Did you try to control them? Did you offer awful opinions and advice? Were you the one who started the fights?
The truth is, it wasn’t you. You were the one who saw the signs of toxicity, and you made the right call to leave.
When you leave your toxic relationship, you will better understand what kinds of people you want in your life. You’ll cross the dramatic, the controlling, and the rude off of your list and seek the kind, the open-minded, and the positive.
You’ll realize that everyone has good and bad in them. You’ll see that everyone shows their good and their bad differently. Some people are both dramatic and open-minded, and some can be both rude and kind, but you’ll find someone who is better for you.
You’ll tell yourself you won’t meet anyone better. You’ll make excuses for tolerating your relationship’s toxicity.
But when you leave, you will not only understand the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with; you will go out and find them, and they will find you back.
When you leave your toxic relationship, you will feel an extreme sense of relief. You’ll be proud of the decision you made to leave and feel like a weight has been lifted from your shoulders.
You’ll look back and wonder how you stayed for so long. You’ll be thankful for the experience that you had and that you learned so much from it. You’ll see their life progress from afar and be happy for them, but happier for yourself.
It is extremely difficult to recognize and extract yourself from a toxic relationship, especially when you are so wound up in a toxic world. When you make the decision to leave, when you realize that you are in charge of your own happiness and that you can decide who you keep in your life, you will be eternally grateful to yourself.