When you’re out there doing what you love and spreading your colourful wings like I knew you always would… please don’t forget about me.
Don’t forget the times I was struck with a crippling fear of the future and my path. The world was crumbling around me and you were my pillar. Steadfast and true. You would offer a few words of consolation and somehow you had this gift of always choosing the right ones. Of the thousands and thousands of words and combinations you could have used, you crafted them perfectly without fail.
The times we couldn’t pick our fights and we were left lying on the pavement bloodied and bruised. But the taste of blood in our mouth was sweet because we would never back away from a challenge and we were together. Blood was roses and we smiled because we fought for a noble cause. We were down but not out and we’d get up dust ourselves off and blissfully carry on without a care in the word.
Our talks about the world we wanted so desperately to see, life, our dreams, and our insecurities that lived deep within the essence of our being. Especially the insecurities. Whenever I look into your eyes I see the depth they have to them. They are pure, they are understanding. Your eyes do not scoff and they do not judge. There was nothing in the world I couldn’t tell you. Despite that, no matter how much pain I was in it was nothing compared to yours. You didn’t care, you always put my needs before yours and I hated that sometimes- I didn’t deserve something as good as you
The girls I loved- or thought I loved. When I couldn’t believe she wasn’t the person I thought she was. I would be heartbroken and shattered- ready to pack it in and live under my bed where I would never talk to another person, and live out the remainder of my years in solitude. But you were always there with a hug, a cold beer and a smile. Always. Something about those three things seemed to be my remedy. And as I sat there spouting nonsense, you would simply sit. Nodding solemnly because you knew exactly how I was feeling without me having to say anything.
When we just did nothing. Whether it was lazy afternoons bashing away on the untuned twelve string, playing video games for hours, or cooking sausages on the barbeque. That time was and always will remain more precious than I can ever explain. The joy I feel looking back on those memories transcends words and those mundane things would not have been what they were had I not have been doing them with you.
How you are the reason I’m doing what I’m doing now, and if I’m lucky enough will be doing for many years to come. You said the suggestion fell out of your mouth, that it was as if it was not your words. I honesty can’t think of a more perfect way to start something. It is one small example of why I would not be who I am without you.
So here we are. You are shining brighter than all the stars in the sky and your flame will continue to grow. It scares me because I am afraid in your brightness I worry I will be left in your shadow. You are kinder than me, more tolerant than me, and a better person than me in every way. I am terrified of losing you because I don’t know what I would do. I’ve always known that you can not cage true beauty, it has to fly. So fly, be who you were meant to be, share your love and kindness and infect everyone with it. Just fly back to me sometimes. Though I don’t deserve it, it’s all I ask.