1. Reflect. People often give all of themselves to the wrong person too quickly. We jump at the thought of finding “the one” and lower our standards and expectations in a partner. We spend all of our money, our time, our energy into loving someone that we forget to check the scale. Often, you will find that this type of selflessness is one-sided. Look at your relationship as a whole by taking yourself out of the equation. Think of the two people as individuals, and see how they contribute to each other’s lives. Does this person make the other laugh in difficult situations? Is the trust and loyalty reciprocated between the pair? Are both of these individuals genuinely, honestly happy? In and out of the relationship? Reflection is one of the mind’s greatest tools in allowing you to choose happiness in your life. Use it to your advantage.
2. Be Selfish. In any relationship, there is always a bit of give and take. If you are going to give someone your love, you should be willing to do anything to see them smile. However, there is a fine line between giving someone a million reasons to smile and being someone’s only reason to smile. Just because someone you love and care for relies on you for their happiness does not make it your responsibility to take them out of their misery. Without being selfish, you will soon find that you lose friends, stop talking to family as much, and your whole world becomes absorbed in the unhealthiest way possible by a relationship that is causing you and your partner to become dependent on each other. Be selfish with your time, your heart, and your happiness. Don’t give any of those three invaluable pieces of your life to someone who needs it. Give those to someone who deserves it.
3. Never settle. A French poet, Arsène Houssaye, once wrote “Tell me who you love, and I will tell you who you are”. You should always surround yourself with people who are working just as hard as you to make something of themselves. By choosing to invest in a relationship with someone who you know is not as motivated as you to be brilliant, your life will ultimately reflect that choice. However, if you fall in love with someone who inspires you, you will achieve more than you may have ever been able to do on your own. If you listen to your friends, your family, and your gut, you will never have to worry about the “what-ifs” that may come about if you stayed with the partner who seemed all too complacent being unemployed and asking for favors. Besides, independence is one of the sexiest traits possible in a man or woman. While it may be rare nowadays, it’s worth holding out to find someone who is motivated by their own will.
4. Let Go. Cutting someone off may be the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life. Knowing someone isn’t right for you, and leaving them while still holding that feeling of love in your heart is painful and sad. In case it isn’t clear, this part will not be easy. But, with that being said, the end reward is astonishing. By listening to your inner conscious that has been warning you for quite some time that the person you are dating is no longer any good for you, you are already beginning the process of letting go. The hardest part will be ceasing your communication and moving on. In breakups, people always say they need their “closure” in order to fully move forward with their lives. Unfortunately, those people are usually still depressed and spend most of their time thinking about their now-ex. Instead, after breaking up with your partner and distancing yourself from the relationship, write a lengthy letter to them listing your problems with them, any insecurities the relationship gave you, and how hurt you feel by their actions. Burn that letter, and let it be the last time you feel any of those emotions.
5. Open your heart to love once more. Nobody has ever said it better than Maya Angelou when she wrote, “Have enough courage to trust love one more time, and always one more time.” Whether you have just been through a break up, or you are still feeling the after effects of a bad relationship, never let these past experiences alter your current mood, or your future happiness. In case you might have forgotten, the current world population is over 7 billion people. Don’t let a few bad apples ruin the entire picnic. Allow your heart to rest on your sleeve again, but this time let it be protected by a wiser mind. If you remember these ways to improve your love life, you will be on your path to finding someone who is capable of making each and every single one of your dreams come true. Chances are, that person will end up being you.