Why I’m Done Spending So Much Time Working On Myself

several cactus plants in macro photography
Yair Mejía / Unsplash

It’s not bad to reflect on yourself and see what you’ve become. How you developed over time. How your habits, thoughts, and relationships have shaped you. Exploring and reassessing your passions to see if you still want to pursue specific goals. It’s actually one of the more mature things you’ll find yourself doing as you get older. We’re so focused on things that really don’t matter. What does matter is you. You will always matter, even if you can’t see the real value of your own self-worth at this moment. But you can spend too much time in a reflective state of mind.

It took me years to realize this. I’m more of a social chameleon. I feel like I can blend into any social group. The chameleon effect has its strength and weaknesses. You can fit in almost anywhere and it shows that there is genuine interest to know and understand others. The big weakness is that sometimes you lose yourself because you are so focused on playing this character or act that really isn’t you. It’s a part of you, but it isn’t who you really want to be. I felt this way. The only way I felt like I needed to stop becoming a victim to this was to work on myself.

The time I spend working on myself was worth it. I felt that I discovered my real interests and what I really wanted to do in life. I also now know who I want to surround myself with in life and what environments I want to be a part of. I found clarity in my thoughts, and I ultimately found my own voice. I’m no longer afraid of expressing my mind instead of saying something that will please others. The most important thing I found was pride in who I am becoming.

Although I feel this is a great revelation, pride and exploration can be addicting. The feeling that you’re actually on top of things and can control your own little world is powerful. It provides a lot of comfort. Maybe too much. That’s always one of the challenges of being introverted is that we get too comfortable. Whatever life throws at us may bring more anxiety and discomfort because we can no longer control what is ours. When you work on your emotions, thoughts, habits, and your overall well-being, that is something you can always control. It’s a little difficult at first, but once you get the hang of it, you feel you’re becoming a completed version of yourself.

The hard truth is that you’ll never be a completed version of yourself. No one enters the world perfect and no one leaves the world perfect. A little self-reflection is needed. But don’t spend so much time reflecting that you forget to take action. Our actions will make you who you are, not your thoughts. If you know you have healthy thoughts, then trust yourself that you will make the right decisions. You don’t need to overwork yourself. TC mark

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