I’m not as insecure as I used to be. I’m not as emotionally conflicted as I used to be. I don’t feel inferior anymore. I no longer believe my disabilities or flaws can interfere with my goals. I now know that everyone’s opinions don’t define who I am. I no longer worry about comparing myself to others and grow at my own pace. I feel unstoppable.
But, I’m still aware of my self-destructive behaviors. Whenever I see someone else succeed and feel jealousy, I’m really hurting myself. Whenever I feel like I can’t achieve success, it has nothing to do with how others may view me as a failure. Whenever I decide to sleep-in because I don’t want to face daily responsibilities, I’m more concerned with my own self comfort instead of making a difference in my life as well as the lives of others around me.
How others view me no longer concerns me. It’s how I view myself that still sticks with me. I want to be good enough for myself. I want to have a career that I will be proud of and won’t regret. I want to be in relationships that I don’t view as a waste of time. I want to invest my time in things that I know will help me become a better person.
My fear is that not everything will work out that way and that I will continue my self-destructive behaviors. I will go back to my comfort zone and continue to stay stagnant if I don’t get out of my own way. I will ignore the concerns others have for me because I’m too afraid to open up to the wrong people. I will continue addictive habits that will only hurt me in the long-term even though they alleviate the pain in the short-term. Everything that can stand in my way is only there because I decide to let it stay there.
We all have enough experience to know that there is very few things that can stand in our way. Our adversity and perseverance always come through. All self-doubt we have in ourselves prove to be just noise. The percentage rate of what we’ve all been able to overcome is higher than we give ourselves credit for.
I am my own worst enemy. I get in my own way. I let my own self-doubts limit who I am. Intimidating people no longer make me feel inferior. Unknown places no longer make me feel guarded. I am ready for any challenge. As long as I continue to work on myself and not expand the broken cracks inside me, then I know I’ve got this.