Whenever a relationship doesn’t last, we always ask yourselves the question “what if”.
What if I wasn’t so insecure with myself?
What if I just trusted my gut when it told me that this person was kind and worth my trust?
What if I had said those things I should’ve said?
What if I didn’t say those things I shouldn’t have said?
Although that regret may exist in temporary relationships, at least they’re a sign that you really cared.
Sometimes the permanent relationships in our lives can get stale. We get too comfortable and sometimes we need temporary relationships to spice things up. We get new opportunities not only to see other people but to also find parts of ourselves that we haven’t discovered yet. Every person is unique in their very own way. If we spend time around the same people for our entire lives, we don’t grow. We don’t discover anything new within us because of the comfort that already exists in those relationships.
Temporary people remind us that our time is limited and that we shouldn’t be afraid to express our feelings wholeheartedly. Being that open and vulnerable is scary, but the right people will appreciate that open sincerity. They will reciprocate their own vulnerable self to you. Knowing that you can open up to new people who are willing to open themselves up to you has to be the best feeling in the world. We only know who people are on the surface when we first meet people. The more we interact with people, the more we can see their flaws and cracks. With family members and close friends, sometimes we either just ignore it or don’t even recognize the flaws and cracks in them because we are so comfortable with them and those things can be so uncomfortable to talk about. Especially with all that existing comfort.
The people closest to us are sometimes the hardest to talk to about serious topics. They have this perception of you that they feel can’t be changed because they’ve been around you for so long. We are all hiding things even from the people we love the most. Sometimes it’s so much easier to express that to someone who is new in your life and that you trust. They likely won’t put one image of you in their head and decide that’s who you are. There’s more willingness to explore and understand newer people in our lives. Those temporary relationships allow us to grow and to see the world in a different light if we meet the right people (which you will someday if you already haven’t).
If we know that there are certain people in our lives who will come and go, then why bother putting on an act? That’s why sometimes temporary relationships hit us hard even though it only lasted a short period of time. Everyone in life is temporary. We all have an expiration date. Towards the end of a relationship, we’re less afraid to express ourselves and how we really feel because the consequences ultimately won’t matter.
So you could continue to play the “what if” game in your head, but the intense short-lived relationships are great. They shouldn’t be tainted because of mistakes early on, because most mistakes in any relationship occur early on. If you left a mark and that person left a mark on you, then that’s all you should be thinking about. A better two-worded phrase to say is “thank you” instead of “what if”.