I want someone who will be proud of me. It’s that simple.
But in the world we live in now, that is quite hard to fathom. People nowadays choose to be taken over by the sickening judgments of other people. ”I don’t care.” Is just a phrase to cover up what everybody really means – “I care about what people think of me, how people perceive me most importantly when I am with someone else. I care about the glares they shoot me from up to down and up again. I give a damn about the judgment others throw towards me, whether shown verbally or just through their actions. I give a damn, but so I simply say ‘I don’t care.’” It feels easier that way.
Everyone is too caught up trying to make their image flawless, to seem innocent or above it all They don’t want the drama. Correction: they want the drama, but they want to be in the center of it, in control. And with everyone being so judgmental and everyone else remaining succumb to it, it’s nearly impossible for me to be someone’s pride, for someone to be proud of me.
(Worse, I’m a lesbian. And guess how much more insults and criticisms that brings to me? A thousand-fold much more worse. [Sure enough, some readers are disgusted already from reading “lesbian.”])
All I want is someone to be proud of me. To prove the world that no one needs to succumb to this hypocritical world.
To be happy is to free. People say ‘I don’t care’ to cover themselves up from the criticisms which actually haunt them, making it the sole reason for turning them into cowards.
All I want is someone to be proud of me. Someone that doesn’t say ‘I don’t care’ as bullshit, but someone who says ‘I don’t care’ because she doesn’t mind the glares and the stares. She is not ashamed of being with me or confessing and re-confessing her love for me in public. She doesn’t care about being stoned to the ground by the whole world. But instead, she doesn’t care because she cares about is me. She doesn’t care because all she needs and cares for is the girl standing right beside her. Someone she can happily show to everyone and say “Hello world! Meet my girlfriend. We’re both girls but who gives a damn? I don’t. I’m proud of her and I’m proud to be with her. I don’t care about any of you. Because for once, I’m with someone that I’m proud of. Someone who is proud and happy to be in love with me as well in front of all the damn phobes and hypocrites.”
Sad enough, in this world, bumping into those kinds of people are quite rare. But once I do find that girl, I will never let her go. And I will be proud to shout to the whole world how much I love her.
This is for you, whoever you are. I’m hoping to meet you soon.