This Is Why You’re Still A Failure

image - Flickr / Callum Painter
image – Flickr / Callum Painter

I receive dozens of emails every week from men who are frustrated with their current life situation.

They are exhausted with trying over and over again to quit their porn addiction, fix their relationship issues, start a business, or just get laid.

Most of the men who struggle with this have one thing in common: Resentment.

When you take stock of everything in your life and realize that you’ve fucked up, some men have a tendency to blame others. Blame women, blame feminism, blame society, blame the government, the system, America.

Resentment is your attempt to make your failure more digestible by blaming others. As a balm for failure, resentment is definitely a cure which is infinitely worse than the disease.

In fact, resentment is a mental disease among modern men. Some men, if they build up their resentment enough, feel that they could somehow prove that the perceived injustice is real and therefore absolve themselves of any responsibility.

Its unfortunate, but most men carry this resentful energy to forums and sites where they can collectively “prove” that some other circumstance is “definitely” causing “their” current situation in life. Basically, resentment is non acceptance of a situation that has already occurred.

Maybe you went to a pickup artist bootcamp five years ago, and after the emotional high, hooked up with two barely attractive women, then went on a 2 year dry spell. Now you’re resentful of all things “PUA” and spend an inordinate amount of time bashing whatever is left of the movement online.

Perhaps you took out thousands in students loans to get that worthless degree and now you find yourself working an unpromising job in retail; your loan a looming,perpetual dark cloud over your mediocre life. Now you hate on the government, the system, Obama.

The bottom line is that resentment is for losers.

You can never win because you goal of changing the past is impossible.

Feeling like a victim of injustice becomes a habit which makes you a victim. Victims see evidence of injustice everywhere. Perceiving injustice in the most innocent of situations leads to self pity. Self pity chips away at your self esteem. Poor self esteem makes you miserable. Now you’re officially a failure. Misery loves company and before you know it you have thousands of posts of bitching on some forum with other losers.

You are the cause of your own resentment and subsequent failure. As long as you are resentful, it is impossible for you to be an independent or self reliant man. The resentful man has given control of his life to others. Others should make him happy. Women should not be so complicated and indecisive,your manager should recognize you more, the government should forgive your student loans, CEOs should get paid less.

When you feel that life owes you appreciation, recognition, affection, and gratitude, you generate resentment when those debts are not paid up.

No one is responsible for your happiness or success, but YOU. You determine your fate. You determine your goals. Leave no room for resentment in your life. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This post originally appeared at Quit Porn Get Girls.

More From Thought Catalog