How To Become A Content Man

image - Flickr / James Douglas
image – Unsplash / James Douglas

Show me a man dealing with compulsive porn use, and I will show you a man who is severely lacking in some significant part of his life.

As you deal with your porn addiction and work on your relationships with women, it’s important to identify the areas in your life that need constant improvement and the areas that don’t.

As a grown man, I used to watch porn for several hours a day,constantly masturbate, live in debt, spend a ridiculous amount of time on video games, suffer from crippling social anxiety, smoke weed regularly, and have no major goals in life other than to “graduate college” and “get a job”.

I had rationalized every aspect of my life and truly believed I was content and that things would change with time- after all, I eventually had to graduate, get a job and maybe get a real life girlfriend or wife. Thank heavens I snapped out of that haze of mediocrity!

To be content does mean to give up on effort; it means that you should remove the effort you put into things like anxiety; it doesn’t mean that you have to be satisfied with your porn use, your ignorance or bad decisions you make regarding your relationships, but to be able to completely accept the progress you’ve made so far.

Some may say that to be content means to be happy with what you have, to accept the fact that you will never be able to have sex with women that you find attractive, that its “normal” to watch porn several times a week, that living is debt is o.k , that’s its acceptable to be a 27 year old virgin because you have “issues”, but your real situation is one of indifference to your duty,obligations and responsibility as a man.

You don’t have the quality of contentment; you have not truly experienced the pure confidence and even joy that comes with absolutely smashing your goals, or making significant progress.

If you identify with any of the above, chances are good that your manhood is still asleep and sooner or later you will be awakened by some sort of intense suffering.

Every man needs to pass through a period of intense pain to achieve true contentment. You either find it and embrace it, or you bury your head in the sand and pretend that everything is alright. For me, it was the pain of my escalating porn addiction that brought about the first stage of my awakening.

As a man, there are three things which you should be content with:

  1. 1) Be content with whatever happens.
  2. Be content with your positive thoughts.
  3. Be content with your material possessions and relationships.

When you are content with whatever happens, you will no longer be a victim to deep sadness or grief.

When you are content with your positive and clean thoughts, you will no longer suffer the pain of deep guilt that comes with falling too deep into the porn rabbit hole.

When you are content with your material possessions and relationships, you avoid anxiety, and misery.

As a man, there are three things you should not be content with:

  1. Your opinions.
  2. Your character.
  3. Your mental growth.

When you are not content with your opinions, your intelligence will constantly increase.

When you are not content with your character, you will continuously improve your values and mental strength as a man.

When you are not content with your mental growth, you will improve your ability to discern or make accurate judgment before taking action, which will in turn place you in more “fortunate” positions compared to most men.

A truly content man, gives everything to an endeavor he embarks on, accepting all the results of his actions, trusting himself fully, and when he is done, knows without a shred of doubt, that his results match his level of action and effort.

Be content, be happy. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

This post originally appeared at Quit Porn Get Girls.

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