Be Grateful For Your Loneliness

A man standing on a stone ledge and looking off into the mountain lake
Joshua Earle / Unsplash

It is a weird thing to say, I won’t deny that.

Admitting to a friend that you are lonely can be a very awkward conversation to have, imagine posting it all over the internet.

I do it because I don’t think it should make you uncomfortable to talk about.

I don’t think it is right for you to have to hide your feelings because someone else may feel awkward in the situation.

I have had a lot of people come up and tell me how amazing they think it is that I am able and willing to speak about my own struggles with loneliness and depression. I also have just as many people who have told me that my blog makes them feel weird and uncomfortable, and they wish I would write about something “more positive.”

Loneliness made me grow up.

I was raised by a mom who would give the world for her son to live his dreams and have what he wants. I watched my mom work her ass off every single day of my childhood to provide a better life for me.

Because of that, I spent a lot of time alone.

I started calling it “me time” so it was less weird to tell someone I spent a lot of my time alone. Eventually “me time” became something I needed in my life to get away from everything else going on.

For as long as I can remember I have been an independent person. I had to learn to grow up young because of the household I was raised in, and knew early on that I had nothing to fall back on if things didn’t work out.

I knew from a young age it was all on me, and that meant I had to give up a lot of my childhood.

I value my time a lot more than most because I know how valuable it is.

I know the things I could be doing instead of having pointless phone calls or going to meetings that could be handled over email.

I don’t date for a one-night-stand, I date for the long-term. I don’t work for the money in the short-term, but for the legacy I can leave in 10 or 20 years.

Being lonely isn’t a bad thing, it is an inspiring thing. I wish everyone could experience being alone for a few days, because you become very grateful for what you have.

I am grateful for my apartment, and for my bed, and for my kitchen table, and for my coffee maker. Not because they are fancy or make me feel cool, but because they are mine — they are the things I can count on to always be there.

If you are lonely, take the time to look around at what you do have, not the people but all the things you have to be grateful for. Being lonely doesn’t need to be a crutch, let it be the thing that offers a new perspective on the world.

Do not fear talking about being alone, be afraid that by not talking about it you aren’t helping those who need to know they aren’t the only ones who are lonely. TC mark

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