How Pinterest Is Ruining My Life

For those who are unfamiliar with Pinterest, the site allows you to compile nearly anything online into categorized collections called boards, ranging from fashion inspiration to household decorations. If you don’t already use this site, then please do yourself a favor and do not make a profile. With the amount of hours I’ve spent categorizing all the crafting ideas and dessert recipes, I could’ve been doing something productive with my life, like finding the cure for a deadly disease. Or showering.

I tell myself I’m only going on for 10 minutes, and 2 hours later I find myself searching up 45 slow cooker recipes. I don’t even have a slow cooker. Not even Barefoot Contessa can make my college dorm microwave into something that can cook a stuffed turkey. And if it did, do you think my diet would consist of ramen noodles and chicken nuggets? (Not complaining though)

Honestly, I don’t know how it all began. One day I was just casually “pinning” random inspiration quotes to brighten my day and liking some possible outfit ideas. Months later, I’m here on college move-in day trying to explain to my roommate why my earrings are in an ice cube tray; all because someone decided it would make me more organized. Seriously though, with the amount of “household hacks” available on this site, you’re like Martha Stewart whose had too much tequila.

And while I do commend these brilliant thinkers who created all these ingenious ideas to make our lives easier, like using a bowl as a cheap iPhone speaker for music, getting that confused stare from my roommate every-time I bring a bowl into the bathroom when I shower just proves how I’m taking Pinterest a bit too far. ( I swear, I’m not eating cereal while I poop)

Seriously — with my Do-It-Yourself artwork right next to my DIY fall decorations to my DIY cardigan, I’m one DIY away from becoming a suburban mother of three. And all these desktop wallpaper looking pictures of countries I want to travel to and the bucket-list experiences I have yet to have just constantly reminds of how poor I am. All because I wasn’t born a Kardashian.

My future apartment board makes me want to rip the walls off my college dorm to give my room a more “industrial” feel, and because of Pinterest, I now use mason jars for every type of storage.

Pencil case? Mason jar

Condom holder? Mason jar

My tears of buying so many damn mason jars? Mason jar

But the worst of all is my exercise board. With the 20 different ways to do cardio in your room and the 500 yoga stretches that I could do to fix my Hunchback of Notre-Dame posture, by the time I finish completing my master work out plan I’m already on the phone ordering Chinese take-out.

With all the ideas that Pinterest has given me, my room now looks like a combination of Betty White’s garage sale and Urban Outfitters. I now know 30 different variations of mashed potatoes, how to use hangers for everything besides clothes, and how to make Olaf from Frozen using only a sock. But with all the seemingly awkward ideas Pintrest has given me, I have never been as crafty and thrifty and creative than I am today.

So thank you Pinterest, for making me the Martha Stewart I never expected to become.