3 Questions You Should Never Answer With “I Don’t Know”

Hey you. Yeah, I’m talking to you.

Your indifference is pissing the rest of us off.

Apathy is no longer cool, unless you’re a hipster, then it appears to be eternal. (But let’s be honest, who even knows what a hipster is anymore?)

I realize there are a couple questions that friends/family/coworkers can ask on a daily basis that are easier to respond to with a shrug, but it’s ok to share your opinion. The insane thing is that we are asking because we actually want to get some sort of feedback from you. They actually expect you to respond earnestly and sincerely about how you feel. Totes cray cray, right?

“What Do You Want To Eat?”

This one is my personal favorite because it’s asked by several different types of people several times a week and frequently followed by little more than a “meh.” You realize that when we ask you this question, we don’t want a specific restaurant and food item on that menu right? We just want general guidelines like “sushi” or “let’s sit on a patio” or “Venice.”  We can take it from there and offer several suggestions, but we need a funnel for our thoughts. It also doesn’t help if you say something like “I don’t know somewhere casual but not formal, somewhere not too pricey but not too cheap.” Die in a fire.

“What time do you want to go out tonight?”

There are three times that are the proper answer to this question, and “I don’t know” is none of them. 5:00, 8:00, or 11:00 (if you live in New York you can add two hours to each of these times) are acceptable. We have schedules, too, and we’d like to know what kind of night we’re in for. So what do each of these times mean when you suggest them?

  • 5:00 – I really shouldn’t go out, but we’re going to happy hour after work for some apps and margs. I really want to get home in time for American Idol and/or to tuck my kids in bed. Getting drunk while there’s still daylight is the best of both worlds.
  • 8:00 – I want to go out with the cool kids in their younger 20’s but I have this presentation early in the morning that my boss is going to kill me if I don’t nail. This is usually reserved for people hovering around 30. It is also the prime hour for date night, regardless of age bracket.
  • 11:00 – I want to get black out drunk and nail whatever fills out its jeans properly.

“What do you want out of this?”

I get it. You guys are dating and you don’t want to tip your hand too early so you can stay aloof and mysterious and protect your too often trampled-on heart, but at some point one of you is going to have to put it out there. Someone is going to have to take the risk because, if you play these mind games for too long, you will eventually get exhausted of each other. There’s a reason they call it “falling in love,” and that’s because sometimes you have to jump off the cliff and hope there’s a plush, silky, heart-shaped pillow at the bottom of the chasm. Tragically there usually isn’t, but you cannot truly love if you don’t give yourself completely over and let go. Just “fall,” as it were.

So stop it with your indifference and saying “I don’t know” because it’s taxing trying to read your mind. We ask for your opinion because we like you and we truly do want to hear from you.

So let’s go get a burger, meet you at the bar at 8? TC mark

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