I’m just going to come right out and say it: I don’t like or even remotely want children. From the youngest age, I never liked dolls. While many young girls play with Barbies and yearn for a Baby-Alive, stuffed animals were my world. They were the toys I cherished; they were my favorite playmates, and the ones still with me after all these years.
I think kids and babies are germ-carrying, clingy, whiny, unruly bundles of putty oblivious to the fact that their parents shape their future behaviors and fundamental beliefs. In my opinion, tiny humans are fascinating only from a purely psychological standpoint.
What many might believe is that I-a woman who does not want a child-am afraid of responsibility and am selfish for not leaping into the role of care-giver that society has expected for thousands of years. What I’m here to say is that I do not wish to be shamed for making the decision to abstain from motherhood, and fear is not the main driving force. Not all women have a mothering instinct, or want to push their bodies to the limit that is pregnancy, which is a whole other topic devoted to the physical toll of maternity.
Also, in the majority of cases, men are not disparaged for being averse to wanting kids. It’s another example of double standards.
Throughout history, childless women were depicted as sad, hopeless, and sometimes alarming creatures: widows were seen as witches in the case of the Salem Witch Trials, and being a spinster was seen as a derogatory, sad situation in life that was to be pitied (and, hopefully, a station to be reversed.) Bachelors, meanwhile, were seen as powerful, mysterious, and alluring figures-a stark contrast when compared to females without offspring.
And let it be said that I would never want another woman to be shamed for wanting to have a child-all I’m bringing to attention is that women who don’t want this should be equally respected in their decision. I can’t count the number of times people have said to me “you’ll change your mind,” or stated simply, “don’t say that!”
I know me best, and I know what is best for my overall health and happiness. If you want to have kids, have them! It’s simply not my choice.
I’m imploring people not to recoil from the idea that women may want to contribute to the world in other ways sans making babies; there is a myriad of rewarding work, such as traveling, advocating for charities, rescuing animals, and starting a business. In fact, the tide is already changing when it comes to raising offspring, as many young women are now deciding, for example, to raise dogs and cats instead.
The point is, everyone knows what’s best for them. In my mind, the world is heavily populated, the globe is not at its most stable, children are financially expensive, and I am naturally just not inclined. But for others who dream of nurturing, inspiring, and providing for their children, they should be just as encouraged. Women serve a great purpose no matter what path in life they take.
And so, without any shame, I’m going to say it again: I don’t want kids.