DISCLAIMER: This article will not dissect the average amount of calories per donut nor dispute any preconceived nutritional facts. There is (unfortunately) no new-age all donut diet that will reduce your waist-line in 2 weeks… BUT HELL that would be cool!
1. First of all there is nothing wrong with a little indulgence.
2. Yeah, I said it! Girl, you deserve all the luxuries in life.
3. But since you probably can’t afford them…
4. Donuts are the next best thing!
5. Actually they are THE best thing.
6. There are options for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
7. If you’ve never had a Fruit Loop donut, I know what you’re going to be doing tomorrow morning.
8. There is no better feeling than matching your breakfast to your outfit.
9. Sprinkles are the new accessory!
10. You can’t eat CARTIER.
11. And even if you could your worth would only increase by a measly 4,000 dollars.
12. THINK ABOUT ALL THE DONUTS YOU COULD BUY FOR 4,000 $$$
13. A donut cannot break up with you.
14. A donut cannot ditch you at a frat house and text you the next day at 8pm and ask, “Did u make it home ok?”
15. A donut CAN make you feel magical inside and make your taste buds sparkle.
16. Like pop rocks!
17. Which is a real flavor! (Try it first hand from Texas Donuts)
18. A donut a day keeps the men away.
19. Cause who really needs them?!
20. *Insert girl emoji with raised hand*
21. Eating donuts increases confidence.
22. If you can rock eating a donut in public you are the new Queen B.
23. Bow down bitches!
24. Donuts are made for filters like Valencia and Nashville.
25. They are universally accepted as delicious.
26. Could you imagine being universally delicious??
27. “My donuts bring all the boys to the yard.”
28. And I’m like, “DAMN RIGHT. You can have some, but I have to charge.”
29. But only about 98 cents.
30. That’s cheaper than anything on the McDonald’s dollar menu.
31. Perfect for the 20 something, free spirit, sweet toothed gal.
32. But lastly, the most important reason
33. Donuts are not the enemy…
34. FRIED BREAD.
35. That is all.