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When You Feel Like Giving Up On Love, Read This

You hear it often, typically from the mouths of those older and wiser. They tell you that this person will one day effortlessly fall from the sky and disrupt your life in the most beautifully catastrophic way. They assure you that you must stop looking, that when you least expect it, they will appear on your doorstep, prepared to love you the way you’ve always yearned to be loved—the way you’ve always deserved.

You hear this and you can’t help but chuckle. Your logical mind refuses to entertain such a mystical concept and dismisses it shortly thereafter. You tuck it to the back of your subconscious and continue on with your life day after day, convinced that the love you crave does not exist. That the love you pray about and deeply desire will never come.

And then, one day, they appear. They appear in a way that is so extemporaneous, yet so flawlessly premeditated. It feels so raw, natural. You are utterly and completely yourself with them and they bring you a deep sense of tranquility, unlike anything you have ever felt before. The unforeseen intensity of the connection leaves you feeling rattled yet serene. You feel disturbed, yet so utterly addicted to their enticing aura. It’s as if the Universe had been waiting for the perfect moment to place them in front of you. When you were ready.

Days, weeks, months pass with them by your side. They add to your life in a way you have never witnessed. They shyly reach down to hold your hand in the street, wanting all to know you are theirs. They caress your face and hug you with pure joy after having only seen them 24 hours prior. Your heart jumps out of your chest when their name appears on your phone.

But your mind is silently preparing you for the abrupt, cataclysmic finale to the saga. You take in the beauty, but deep down you know it will not last. It never lasts.

As time goes by, their ingenuousness motivates you to open your heart more, but it is still incredibly difficult. Despite their healthy behaviors and loving gestures, your mind refuses to accept this love as real. The way they spend hours simply holding you and listening to your heartbeat. The way they kiss you as if it will be the last time. The way they listen to you so intently. The way they remember every small detail about your being. The way you can’t recall a single argument between the two of you. None of this can be real.

You inevitably succumb to your old toxic habits, often waiting hours to reply to their text messages, or creating excuses to not see them. Your mind wastes no time in reminding you that this love is not real, to not get too attached. You try to take in the beauty while keeping your distance, knowing very well this is not sustainable. Knowing very well you are in very deep. Knowing very well this is what you wanted.

Nothing you do seems to pull them away in the slightest. They never stop asking to see you. On the days you are not with them, they cannot help but remind you how much they yearn to be in your presence again. They make you feel special, worthy, privileged to be theirs.

And then it happens: One morning you wake up next to them. Their arms are wrapped around you. Their intoxicating scent feels like home. You feel safe, loved. You cry at the moving realization that this is what you wanted all along. This is the love you prayed for. It finally came.

About the author
Writing is my therapy. Follow Chiara on Instagram or read more articles from Chiara on Thought Catalog.

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