1. You are good enough to screw up.
To err is human, darling, and human we shall all remain. Let me tell you something that changed my whole perspective on making mistakes. There are 3 ways we learn new things: We either learn by study, by observing the experiences of others, or we learn through our own experiences.
We often learn what to do, by first learning what not to do.
You may feel like you’re the only one out there making mistakes, but literally everyone screws up – it’s just part of life. It’s how we grow. And our worth is definitely not measured by that screw up, because imagine if it was? We’d all be worthless, wouldn’t we? We all screw up, so much.
So, don’t beat yourself up when you screw up, because it’s not the mistakes that define us, it’s what we do with those screw ups and after-the-fact that does.
2. You are good enough to fail.
On the same note as screwing up, you should know, failure is part of life and it’s not a statement about you sucking. Along the same lines as making mistakes, we’re not defined by the failure – we’re really not – we’re define by what we do with it.
I always say that, assuming you’ve given your all and have done your best, failure is one of two things. Imagine a bridge built between two islands. What does it mean if the bridge collapses? Well, the collapse will either signal a flaw in design, prompting you to rebuild it better this time around, or, if you’ve tried it a few times and it’s just not working out, it might just mean this isn’t a good place to build a bridge.
So, failure is either a lesson or a pivot, and it’s not a statement about your worth.
3. You are good enough to be heartbroken.
Having your heart shattered into a million pieces doesn’t mean you deserved it. Heartbreak is a consequence we all have to endure at some point in our lives. Most of us more than once.
But being heartbroken is no time to beat yourself up as you’re trying to make sense of the pain. Assholes exist. Sometimes we fall out of love. People make mistakes. Things usually end. There is a lack of permanence pre-built in falling in love, because if you think about it, things don’t work out until you meet the one that does.
But still, you should know, being heartbroken does not mean you deserved it. It doesn’t mean you weren’t good enough to be treated well. That does not fall on you. Got that?
4. You are good enough to be alone.
Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re not good enough to be in a relationship. It doesn’t mean you’re getting passed up for something better.
In fact, most of the time, you’re single for 2 reasons:
1) The right fit just hasn’t come along yet (so be thankful for that because you’re avoiding a lot of unnecessary heartache leading up to his or her arrival) or…
2) This is specifically a time you need to be focusing on yourself. And trust me, you’ll be better for it.
Remember that relationships don’t fill voids and they do not exist to be a yard stick for your value.
5. You are good enough to not settle.
You probably have a fear that if you don’t move on an opportunity, another one will never present itself again. The fear of missing out – or rather, living with a scarcity driven mindset – is one that too often makes us slave to living in a safety bubble, so that we can conserve our worth. Meaning, this guy treats me like a 7 and it may not be a 10, but hey, I’ll take a 7.
Then what happens? You remain a 7, despite being a 10.
So how will you ever see you’re worth a 10 if you don’t ever push yourself out of that bubble?
6. You are good enough to not know what’s next.
You don’t have to have it all figured out. And I know that for some of us, that leaves a really achy feeling in the pit of our stomach. And we feel like if we don’t have x yet, what are we even doing?
But you don’t have to know where you’re going yet. You’ll get there.
And the fact that you’re not there yet doesn’t mean you suck or that you’re not good enough or that you don’t deserve it. In fact, getting stuck in that mindset will act like quicksand and keep you from moving forward.
7. You are good enough to change your life.
You may feel like you don’t deserve to improve your life. Like all the screw ups in your past mean you’ve gotten yourself where you are and that there’s no escape. That this is what you’ve earned.
Or maybe you’ve created this story for yourself and you’re now cemented into it.
That this is it.
But everyone deserves a second chance, a third, a fourth, a fifth, whatever – a complete do-over, for some of us. You deserve to get up and try again and do things better this time around.
Because life really, truly can change in an instant, and the only thing keeping you back is the thought that you don’t deserve it.
But you do. You so, totally do.
8. You are good enough to wear what you want.
This should go without saying, but I have no problem reminding you about this.
You are good enough to wear whatever you want. A business suit, a bathing suit, a short skirt, a long flowy dress, a t-shirt, a vest, a low cut top, lingerie, granny panties, whatever. You deserve to wear whatever it is that makes you feel good, because you’re the one who has to wear it.
Don’t worry about everyone else, everyone is too busy with their own insecurities to notice yours.
When you’re old and gray nearing the end, how do you think you’ll feel about all those summer beach days spent dressed under an umbrella?
You deserve to feel good in your clothes.
9. You are good enough to be loved.
You are. No matter where you’ve been, what’s been done to you, what mistakes you’ve made, what flaws you think overshadow the things that make you shine – you are good enough to be loved.
And not just tolerated or settled for – really, really loved. You deserve to be cherished and appreciated and celebrated for all the wonderful things that make you, you.
And as a repeat from above, if that person hasn’t shown up for you yet, that’s okay. And it’s okay to leave if the person you’re with doesn’t show up for you the way they should, in the way you deserve.
10. You are good enough to be happy (right now!).
With every fiber of your being, I want this to sink in. You deserve to be happy.
There are no conditions to your happiness. So if any of the following phrases are currently circling inside that beautiful mind of yours, scrap them immediately. If you’re thinking:
- I’ll be happy when I finish this.
- …when I meet the love of my life.
- …when I get that promotion.
- …when I lose 20 lbs.
Happiness is right now and it’s right here. You don’t have to prove yourself to acquire it, you just to need to clean up those dirty lenses and see what is clearly in front of you now. This is why gratitude exercises are so powerful.
11. You are good enough to be successful.
You are good enough to charge for your skills. A friend of mine once told me about this awesome package she offered her clients that took up about 20 to 30 hours a month of her time. When I asked her how much she charged, she squirmed, clearly ashamed of how low her rates were.
And many of us, especially those of us who are freelancers or own our own businesses really struggle with this.
We make the mistake of confusing the value of our skills and services with the value we place on ourselves. So, without a boss to tell us what we charge for x,y, and z, we attach our own issues of self-worth and end up underpricing our services, which keeps us from growing and succeeding.
But you deserve to earn for all the knowledge, skill, and value you bring, as well as the time you spend bringing it.
12. You are good enough to make your dreams come true.
Yes, you can do it. Yes, you deserve it. And yes, it can happen for you, too.
The true test to making your dreams come true is not on your worth, but rather, the work and the heart and the passion you put behind making things happen. That’s what makes dreams come true.
So if you hustle your ass off, you learn what you need to learn, you help people and move forward on that path, moving out of your own way, you’re going to make it all come true.
And it’s important you realize that you’re good enough for that.
13. Last, but not least: You are good enough to be YOU.
Because you cannot fail at being you. And everything that makes you, you is magic. Even the darkness, the mistakes, and the failures. No matter how many times your heart’s been broken or you’ve been told no, or things just have not worked out for you.
You are you and you are good enough to be you.
And as a last and final note, I want to remind you that I’m proud of you and you can literally write me anytime and we can have a conversation about this if you need to be reminded.
You’re good enough for all of the above and most importantly, you’re good enough for the life you’re living right now.