This Is How I Will Unlove You

This is
how I will unlove you.

I will
try
to remember
everything;
the first time we met,
what you looked like,
the clothes you wore,
who approached who —
how we became close.

I will
think of the stupid
inside jokes we made
and the silly
smiles it brought
to my face.

I will recall
how we devoured immorality
and left
hearts broken
when we
decided to
run away
and bask
in uncertainty.

After which,
the happy
memories
we built
together
will flash before me;
the bottles
of beer
we chugged
and how we almost
burned down
the Expo
with cigarettes
on our first
date,
and
how we hid
from the world
on our next.

The shock
on people’s
faces when
we finally
got rid
of the skeletons
in our closet,
and how everything
seemed to be
a never-ending
stream of
rainbows and butterflies
from then on.

…until you started to drift away.

I will
think about
the warmth of your embrace,
but at the same time,
how you eventually
gave me the cold shoulder.

I will
recall
how once
you looked at me
like I was
the only girl
in the world,
until your
eyes were captured
by another.

I will try
to remember
every little thing
I loved about you;
your eyes,
humor,
around-the-clock texts and calls—
and replace them
with the memories
of how everything turned sour.

Finally,
I will start
caring more
about myself —
be too selfish for my own good
because all along,
you were my priority,
when clearly,
it should have been me.

I will pick up the pieces,
bathe in the glory of my remaining self-respect,
and learn to love myself again.

…from then on,

I shall unlove you.