When You’re Heartbroken By A Friend

Flickr / Nicki Varkevisser
Flickr / Nicki Varkevisser

All friends have pointless fights that lead to ridiculous arguments and then, for the most part, agreeing to disagree and moving on. But what about the times you fight with a friend and you can’t move forward? You can barely look at them, let alone speak to them. It could have been a miscommunication or an argument over something that really doesn’t even make sense, but you can feel in every bone of your body that this is the end.

Heartbreak is a word that is commonly used after a break up with a significant other, but it doesn’t have to be. You can absolutely feel heartbroken over a friendship, and to be honest it is perhaps the worst kind. Relationships with a significant other end, you feel sad for a while but continuously move forward with life. Friendships that end feel as if a bulldozer just crashed into your body and as it came through the other side it took with it all the memories and feelings of comfort you once had with this person. You feel as if you may never recover from it.

At first, you cry. The depression sets in and you realize you must find a way to pick yourself up and move on. After a while, you start to feel better. You start to feel as if these people never truly cared for you or mattered in your life. You begin to see that in some time you will be okay. But just then you see or hear something so funny that only this person would understand and immediately go to text them. You then remember that this person isn’t a part of your life anymore. So you head back to depression and sleep for days.

It feels like a dream, or at least you want it to be a dream. You want more than anything to wake up and this ludicrous argument you had never happened, but you won’t. You try to think of anything you can say to make the situation better, but you can’t. You delete their number or unfollow them on social media hoping to forget about them all together, but you don’t.

Friends are the most difficult people to lose. You trusted them with stories of your past or your secrets and dreams for the future. They grew into someone you looked at like family. They were part of your everyday life and now they no longer are. This type of heartbreak is not quite as easy to overcome. This type of heartbreak stays with you until you find someone to fill that void. And the truth is you may never find another person like them. It makes you sad to think that you will never find someone to take their place. And while right now that seems to be the worst-case scenario, it isn’t. It may be in your best interest to not have a person like them in your life at all.

You won’t realize it now because you aren’t ready or because you refuse to believe it’s true, but this heartbreak will teach you a valuable life lesson that no other incident can teach you. This heartbreak teaches you who the essential people are in your life. It teaches you what type of people you need to surround yourself with that make you genuinely happy. It teaches you that some people will come into your life and then just as easily disappear from it, and that is okay. It’s a part of life that no one likes but everyone endures. You will grow from it and learn more about yourself in the end. For now, stay positive and surround yourself with the people you love. They are the only ones who can truly help you get over this heartbreak. TC mark

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