I have tried so many times to write about you but I always end up with a blank page. I don’t know if it is because I feel like I have told you enough about how I feel about you or because I feel like no matter how many times I write about you it will not make any sense. But here I am, I find myself trying again.
There is never a day that goes by without you crossing my thoughts. It sucks because I want to completely forget everything about you already but what is happening is the exact opposite. The more I try to forget you, the more I remember every memory that we shared.
I agree wholeheartedly that life is unfair because I don’t even think I cross your mind even just for a split second. But for me, everything I do reminds me of you. When I hear a song that we used to sing together, when I eat food that we both used to enjoy, or just basically anything that happens under the sun. Every single thing. No matter how much I try to forget about you, I just can’t. My heart just can’t. It’s still you. It has always been you.
The promises you made still dawn on me like a billion times and every time I close my eyes it would bring me back to how we used to before things got blurry. I can still remember how good it felt when the warmth of your skin touched mine. The feeling of your arms around me just made me feel so secure. And how your smile just made me feel like the luckiest girl on earth. But now, they are all just memories to ponder on. Who knows if they can ever happen again?
People would often make fun of me when I say I have forgotten about you because they can see the lie in my eyes. They can see that I am still not over you.
But you, how can you let a day go by without even getting bothered that I am not with you? Am I that easy to forget? Am I that easy to leave behind? Do I even cross your mind?
I hope one day I learn to walk away from things that are not helping me grow. And one of those things is you.