It has been almost a year since you left. And up to this moment, I still can’t say that my heart and my soul are over you completely. I can still clearly recall all the times we had, whether good or bad, whether endless crying or laughter, whether storms or sunshine. You know, I have been wanting to ask you if you still feel the same way about me. But no, I’d rather not know. I’d rather keep wondering than know what you really feel. I’d rather keep it to myself than to feel my heart ache even more. You know what they say, “the less you know, the better.”
I can still remember how you made me feel. You made me feel loved. You made me feel special. You made me feel like I was on top of the world. I suppose I will never forget those.
There are just nights where it hits me. It hits me that you’re gone and who knows if you are ever coming back. I cry it all out until I fall asleep. But even in my dreams, you are in my head. It’s crazy to think how even in my subconscious thoughts, you are still all I think about. And when I wake up, it’s still you on my mind. You never leave my thoughts, basically. It’s like my favorite song is stuck in my head and can never be forgotten. How I wish I could go back. How I wish I could just shut my eyes off for a while and when I open them, you are right here in front of me again. How I wish I could….
I feel stupid for missing you when I shouldn’t. I wish I could forget you in just a snap. But I guess we can never really unlove or forget someone, we just learn how to live without them. That’s how life works and it sucks.
If you’re never coming back, I hope one day when I wake up, I wouldn’t remember a thing about you. Not even a single one. Not even your name. But for now, I will just let my emotions flow through. After all, this will make me stronger and better than ever.
But let me just ask you one thing, why does it take seconds to break someone’s heart but forever to get over it?