1. You have a fear of squiggly lines and right angles.
2. Creeping isn’t just someone stalking your Facebook
3. Lifting isn’t just what you do in a gym.
4. You’re as terrified of having red flashed at you as soccer players.
5. Your event is ALWAYS either first or last at track meets.
6. You’ve actually been yelled at for walking too fast in a building.
7. You get violent urges when someone refers to what you do as “powerwalking.”
8. You smirk at phrases like “run, don’t walk” because racewalking burns more calories.
9. You’re all-too-familiar with excruciating agony in your shins, hamstrings and calves after races.
10. You’ve been told your track event isn’t real.
11. And that your track event is the easiest one.
12. But you know the most effective way of silencing a hater- inviting them to racewalk with you for a bit and enjoying the show of their epic fail.
13. You get catcalled from cars. All. The. Freaking. Time.
14. You’ve heard “yeah baby, work/shake that ass!” not once, not twice but a thousand times.
15. You have zero patience for crowded hallways.
16. You hate walking in groups because all your friends walk too slow.
17. You sometimes wonder how it’s physically possible for others to walk so slow.
18. You know of at least one instance of a fellow racewalker qualifying for nationals and still being overlooked by the coach and/or local sports papers.
19. The same goes for breaking school records.
20. You’ve had your workout interrupted by people telling you that you walk funny.
21. You’ve been mistaken for a runner by people who only saw you from waist up.
22. Your hips crack all the time.
23. You fantasize about one day being as fast as Maria Michta or Tim Seaman.
24. Long Island breeds racewalkers (and the Sachem high schools might as well be renamed Racewalk East and Racewalk North)
25. Despite all the haters, we’re a thick-skinned, badass bunch!