For those of us who spend this day without the man or lady of our dreams, it’s a day we eat chocolate alone, or order a whole DQ ice cream cake and share it with our same sex friends, with only forks and not a plate to be seen. If it happens to fall on a weekend, it’s a day we drink a whole box of wine before 6 p.m.
It’s a day we get chocolates *only* from our mom and dad – “you’ll always be my valentine sweety, even if you’re no one else’s. Love Mom and Dad.” (Seriously though, if you didn’t, I would have to do it myself, so thanks guys). It’s a day we cringe at every Spence Diamond commercial and heart shaped pizza (that we have just ordered and will consume in its entirety …solo), a day we secretly wish we had someone to “choo choo choose” us. (Simpson’s, classic.) And a day we avoid all the rom-coms on TV and search “horror movies” on Netflix.
It’s a day we examine our past relationships and think “that wasn’t so bad… I could have dealt with his incessant need to pick his nose and flick it, or make out with every girl at every bar, every weekend” and drunk Valentext that ex just because our heart hurts from being alone. It’s a day we can text our single friends (and if you have real good ones, your not single friends too) and say that we are totally not looking for love right now anyway.
That we are COMPLETELY happy being single and that you have to love yourself first before loving anyone else. When you think, “I’m pretty great so I’m just working on loving myself right now and screw guys, I don’t need a man to be happy.” Then an hour and a half later (and all the wine), you and that single friend three-way call your not-single friend and say how lucky they are to have someone, and that all you want to do is find someone who will love you for who you are, and it’s not fair that so-and-so from high school and that super hot guy just got engaged, and she’s posted like 7 pictures of different angles of her ring on instagram and that’s really bad insta etiquette.
The struggle to be loveless on a day made for love is real and it’s the dumps.
BUT, it’s also a day most people leave us alone (because all they want to do is talk about their self proclaimed amazing plans but every time they bring it up to us they see our eyes glaze over and our skin turn green from nausea). It’s a day we don’t have to wrestle the throngs of diners hoping to get the perfect table with the perfect view at the perfect restaurant.
It’s a day our ridiculous expectations for romance aren’t completely obliterated by a surprise dinner date at Old Country Buffet, some baby’s breath and a 30 minute phone call to his mom. It’s a day we can drink too much wine or beer and not “ruin” the evening. and a day we can lounge around the house, eat whatever we want and not have to shower or wear pants (and let’s face it, any day without pants is a good day).
It’s a day to take inventory of what you really do have to be thankful for. It’s a day to love your friends, and your family, and it’s a day to love yourself. Whether it be buying yourself those chocolates, or that pizza, or even the newest Captain America movie just so you can stare at how hot Chris Evans is and pause it when he’s shirtless, without judgment.
It’s a day for single parents to love their children just a little extra, and a day for single friends to get together, eat, drink and laugh too much, making a pact that no matter what, we will always be each other’s Valentine. It’s a day of love, in any and all of its forms
No, you don t have to spend money, no you don’t have to go to the nicest restaurant in the swankiest part of the city, no you don’t need to show up with a stretch limo filled with 12 dozen roses (a dozen for each month you’ve been together-obviously), or the biggest gesture of all, propose. But if it’s been a crazy year, or last couple of months, go home, make dinner, switch your phone off, have some chocolate and wine and spend a few hours just being with the person or people that make you feel loved and make them feel the love you have for them in return.
To my friends, my valentines, my family, thank you for making me feel loved every second of every day.
I love you, too.