5 Ways To Steer Clear Of Bullshit New Years Resolutions In 2018 And Make Real Changes

Cool girl in a large hat standing on stone steps outdoors
Allegra Messina

I’ve been in the gym early January. It’s a war zone near the treadmills. It’s like Black Friday. With people throwing elbows or tripping other people. And just to get their turn at their New Year’s resolution — to run in place more.

But by the end of February and early March, the treadmills are dead. Everyone has gone home and stayed home. The runners and resolution-makers have given up.

Why? Because we are a society that epically fails at honoring agreements with ourselves. We don’t know how to show up for our bodies and our minds and commit to our potential. We’d rather commit to our phone screens and our dating apps than our well-being or our intellect or our dreams.

It doesn’t have to be that way. The people you most admire have figured it out. You can too. The life you dream about is not beyond your reach.

Here are a few suggestions for goal-setting as we move into the New Year.

1. Put your damn phone down.

Stop wasting time in silly places with things that don’t matter.

2. Stop making comparison-based goals.

You are not somebody else. You are you. No one diet, or one path, or one plan is going to work for everyone. Your body won’t look exactly like hers. Your dream won’t manifest like his. Your book won’t read like theirs. If you want to make true, sustainable progress… then fuck comparison. The only person you are competing with is yourself and that should be enough. If you make your goals about somebody else, you’re giving up your power. Make them whole-heartedly about you. You deserve it.

3. Don’t compare your beginning to someone’s end.

I suppose if you aren’t making comparison-based goals anymore then this shouldn’t be an issue, but just incase you are still struggling in this department, here’s another comparison tip. Don’t look at someone’s end product and compare your beginning mess to it. You’ll get discouraged. Give yourself time. Honor the process. Eventually your mess will be gold. But it won’t start out beautiful.

4. Figure out how you want to feel. Pursue that.

The biggest trick to sustainable change is figuring out how you want to feel. We don’t pursue goals, we pursue how we think we will feel when we obtain them. Getting clear on how you want to feel is crucial. You want to get fit to feel sexy and desirable? (You’re beautiful and desirable just the way you are.) But this is okay. Own it. Throw out the visual in your head of how your body needs to look. Instead pursue the feelings – happy, healthy, sexy, desirable. I promise, it will be different.

5. Scrap perfection. Celebrate progress (big and small). Get less serious.

Perfect is a myth. You set yourself up for failure when you place the bar somewhere unattainable. There will be days you don’t make steps towards your goals. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Celebrating the process and being understanding with yourself is so important. Changing your reality is hard and you won’t always do everything right. Eliminating this idea of perfection will allow you to have more fun and be kind to yourself when shit doesn’t go as planned. It will open up space for you to celebrate the small wins. Wins are wins.

You. Can. That’s all.

Go get 2018. No bullshit. TC mark

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