Today the word “sugar” is no longer just a sweet carb within food. Sugar is a lifestyle. Some spend their lives avoiding it, others wake up searching for it. Yes, I am a Sugar Baby.
My journey to become a Sugar Baby started last fall with my sister. I was a Montana housewife with two children, whose Pinterest perfect world had just ended in an emotional divorce with my high school sweetheart, who turned out to be a closeted gay man. With the divorce came freedom, and the traumatic experience gave me clearance to try new things. There are many who were quick to ask, “Why not just date regular guys?” But, I didn’t want another regular relationship, I wanted companionship, but something void of the heavy commitment I had given up for my marriage.
Plus, I was broke.
I’m not alone in my justification or urge. I eventually tried out
SeekingArrangement.com.So there I was lonely, unemployed and now surrounded in an online community known as the Sugar Bowl, reading How-To Sugar blogs and Tumblr pages. I discovered that a significant amount of men I met were married men seeking refuge and escape from their daily, conventional lives. I could sort of relate given my previous circumstance. At only 24 years old, I would come to see more beauty in the world, than most people do in their lifetime. I’d learn that regular dating was a far journey back from the Sugar life — a rose loses its meaning when compared to a box from Harry Winston.
Nowadays I don’t bat an eyelash at $3,000, the average allowance given by a sugar daddy according to the same site, but to a divorcee with no college background or job at the time, it was a worthy option. After the success of my first date, my pursuit became Sugar. I found myself juggling 12 Sugar Daddies at one point.
The first Sugar Daddy I ever had was from New York, and he provided a $5,000 monthly allowance. On my best month, I made a total of $30,000 from various Sugar Daddies. On one date alone, a Sugar Daddy gifted me with $7,500. No matter the number of trailing zeros, I am always gracious. Take that as one of my sugar baby tips.
A steady allowance is only one goal of the lifestyle. Every “baby” wants her own success. A quid pro quo where we loan our beauty, charm, and youthful energy for money, power, and the opportunities that allow us to ascend a couple of rungs on the ladder of success. My New York sugar daddy, we’ll call him Wesley, put $15,000 into helping me launch my personal training and lifestyle website, but his mentorship is what I valued most.
Not everyone is as sweet. Just like standard dating, you meet “salty” men, cheap men, and even psychos. Sugar Daddy Steve was a loaded, San Francisco-based hotelier, whose best compliment was that I looked just like his ex-wife who committed suicide. Romantic, I know. In his home he had random, blonde SeekingArrangement profile pictures printed out on an eerie display. As I attempted to leave, he pushed my suitcase down the stairs, throwing porcelain ￼plates at my head as I ran out. Unfamiliar with San Francisco and uncomfortable with the idea of calling the police on a well-known, influential man I barely knew, I turned to my growing Sugar Tumblr page for help. Within minutes, I had 100 responses. One follower even called a cab for me.
Sometimes the experiences can’t be defined with a dollar sign. One time, a Sugar Daddy took me on a style tour through the Garment District, feeding my passion for designer fashion. Another time I went on a 10-day cruise to the Bahamas. My Sugar Daddy and I rented a car exploring the islands together. The beauty was undeniable, but the trip exposed how incompatible we were.
You’d be a fool to think that this isn’t like having a boyfriend, albeit a rich one. The rule on ditching traditional relationship hang-ups applies mostly to the sugar baby. You aren’t allowed to be jealous or ill-mannered. You need to keep up appearances, and never lose your temper past anything north of a cute pouty face. You are the perfect girlfriend, confidant, and friend. And the reward is addicting.
Being a sugar baby is a full-time job. I wake up in the morning, I log into my account and the work begins; searching for new potential sugar daddies, POTs as we call them on our personal blogs and social media. Like students with homework, my sugar baby roommate and I peruse upscale lounges and bars attempting to master the craft of mingling with the elite. As is with any job, you have a role and are rewarded. More importantly, you rise each day and start again, refreshed, motivated and always looking for ways to sweeten the journey of life.
Image – alygrossii