aerial photo of I love you text on sand at the seashore

At The End Of The Day, Love Is A Choice

Love is a feeling of deep affection or a strong liking for someone. Love can be used as a verb meaning to feel a strong romantic love or sexual desire for somebody.

It’s the most underrated, underused, and misunderstood term in our vocabulary. It can be an utter delight or a never-ending struggle. It can fill you with intense joy and pain; it can intimidate with its capacity for pain; it can feel too close to ever be comfortable.

One of the most powerful feelings we have, love is also one of the most confusing — especially in relationships. Trying to decipher what your romantic partner wants from you sometimes feels like reading a foreign language. Love is what you do when you’re with the person you care about most. It’s not just saying, “I love you.” It’s doing things and showing it every day. Love takes time to grow, and this means both people have to show patience and understanding with each other sometimes. And that’s okay!

One of the most basic lessons taught in school is that love is hard. From the moment we’re old enough to have our first crush, we’re told how painful and complicated it can be, not to mention how difficult it seems to get over a breakup. And yet, right before our eyes are thousands of adults who are still with one another after going through heartbreak.

But just because love is hard doesn’t mean it’s supposed to be. Love can be just as easy as falling out of bed. All we have to do is choose it. The problem is that we’ve been conditioned to believe that the only way to love someone or something is through pain and difficulty. If anything worth having hasn’t hurt you, then you aren’t trying hard enough.

For that reason, love can be hard. No matter how much you care about someone or how much they care about you, there will always be obstacles between two people that can come between them. When those walls get broken down, it’s because, for the majority of the time, one person chooses to let them fall.

Love is a choice. What I learned is that we choose the people we love, because when we love somebody, we love them because we chose to. We chose every single part, the good and the bad, and obviously when you fall in love with somebody, you fall in love with the person who’s right in front of you — not potential, not everything else. So yes, we choose who to love. And we choose to love unconditionally; we choose to love that one person for the rest of our lives.

Love is a choice because love is not easy; it is not convenient. It does not come with the guarantee that I am going to be here tomorrow or that you will always be here. When you love somebody, they can break your heart in a thousand pieces, but at the end of the day, as long as you put all the pieces back together and you choose to put them back together and pick up what’s left of your heart and start over again, that’s what makes love so special.

The thing about love is, it is not easy. But that’s what I’ve learned from my own experiences, and also with my parents and with friends, and now the person that I love is myself.

Love is a choice, because when you lose somebody you love, it’s because you chose to let them go. It’s not always easy, but if you can tell yourself that there is another person out there for you and that this person will make your life worth living, then you can choose to love again.

You choose who you love. And if you choose to love somebody unconditionally, then that’s a choice that you make. That’s why it’s so special— because people don’t always do that. In the end of the day, I put myself first in the things that I do and how I feel about myself. You have to love yourself before anyone else can truly love you and want to be with you and spend their time with you.

About the author
I love art in all forms. Follow Chelsea on Instagram or read more articles from Chelsea on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related