Love A Man Who Knows Exactly Who He Is, And You’ll Find A Love That Lasts


As I think over my years and my romances, there are a few men in my life, emphasis on few, who’ve more than maintained my interest and respect. They have, in fact, far exceeded it. I care for these men, instinctually. Naturally. I love these men with a love that is incontestable, with a love that I can swear by. Somedays it hits me just how rare and precious this is.

People come into our lives every day, each of who, I believe, we are meant to experience in some capacity. This year I’ve come to see this clearly and understand that of those who come into our lives, very few are meant to stay. This, would you believe it, is nothing to mourn though. It is an inevitability to recognize and honor.

It is inevitable that the majority of people we meet will pass through us.

Just as with the individuals we turn over in our mind, very few actually drop down into our heart. And, for those we do welcome into our embrace, even they aren’t immune, even they come with their own finality. This is just how life goes.

Of those who come closest to us, many will impress our lives and then move through them. This arrangement is meant to be. We could fight it or we could choose to throw our faith behind it, throw our faith behind the duration of things, trusting that not everyone we love will be ours forever and that this is not personal or a problem.

So then, what is it about the men who have remained? What has me loving them in a way that’s unwavering and sustainable, in a way that is, quite frankly, special to them? They are solid. These men are consistent in character.

They are loyal to themselves. To their word.

They are transparent with themselves, and consistent in that transparency with me. This is their differentiating factor. The men who have followed me through my years, who have lasted while all others have come and went, have lasted because they have shown me humility from the start.

There’s never been any gray areas. All along they’ve let me in on exactly who they are. Not who they want to be. Not who they think they will be. But who they are as of now. The longevity of my love totally makes sense then. I love these men because they are real to me. Because when we don’t oversell ourselves, we never need to hide. When we don’t oversell ourselves, we’re always able to show up exactly as we are. We are able to stay. Persist.

We are able to remain in the lives of others because we are as we make ourselves seem.

There is no running or disappearing because we are not triggered by the fear that we will be found out. We are not afraid that we will disappoint. To be this kind of woman in the lives of men is as important to me as discovering the men who can be this for me. In fact, it is even more important. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A Breakup Coach, Advice Columnist, and the Podcast Host of Thank You Heartbreak.

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