From age 18 until age 22 I thought I was a total psychotic girlfriend. I would fully admit it, own up to it, accept it. I let everyone around me believe (and make me believe for that matter) that I was totally crazy.
Here’s why I was crazy, and here is why my previous relationships didn’t work out-
1. I didn’t like when my boyfriend didn’t text me back.
I mean why aren’t you texting me back? I’m your GIRLFRIEND.
2. I didn’t like when my boyfriend broke plans even if it was for his friends.
We had plans…. What could be more important? Why am I not the most important person in your life?
3. I would go through my boyfriend’s phone.
Who are you texting? Why are they texting you at 1:00 AM, and why won’t you let me see?
4. I would get upset when my boyfriend didn’t answer my calls.
You have your phone on you 24/7, and you’re not at work. No excuse dude… I could be dying.
5. I would get angry when my boyfriend accused me of things I didn’t do.
Now I’m crying because I said “Hi” to a guy in the bar and you think I might have slept with him 6 years ago. Why am I feeling guilty?
6. I didn’t like when my boyfriend partied too hard.
You got fucked up last night and now you’re feeling too shitty to come to the party we were supposed to attend or even worse, make it to work.
7. I would get jealous when my boyfriend would text other girls (even if they were just friends).
Oh, it’s your friend? Then why haven’t I met her in the past year? Why has she suddenly started texting you and why haven’t I ever heard of her?
8. I would get jealous of my boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends.
Ughhhh she’s so pretty and you still have stuff that she gave you… Why do you still have all of these pictures? I’m feel so insecure.
9. I wanted more affection than my boyfriend would give.
“I love you so much and I can’t wait to see you when you get off work!” “Yeah, I’m ready to be off.”
10. I’d get upset because I didn’t think we were on the same page.
You feel so distant…. Do you want this? Do you love me?
But was I really crazy? Or was I an insecure girl who wanted to be loved more than my boyfriend could? Maybe a little of both, but I can tell you one thing, I didn’t get that way without a little help. After a 2.5 year relationship with someone who I think is the RIGHT guy, here is what I have learned.
A good boyfriend will text you back. All the time, because why wouldn’t he want to talk to you?
A good boyfriend doesn’t break plans. Not if he’s a good person and not if it’s not an emergency. And if your boyfriend wants to hang out with his friends, he will have made you feel comfortable enough that you’re ok with that.
He will let you go through his phone at any given time, because what’s his is yours. (Although you should almost never feel the need to do this)
A good boyfriend may suck at answering calls, but he will always call back as soon as he sees it. He will also very often initiate calls.
A good boyfriend won’t accuse you of anything, but should be an adult and talk to you about concerns he may have.
A good boyfriend won’t do drugs if he can’t be a productive member of society after using them.
A good boyfriend may have girl friends, but they will be or will be willing to be your friends too.
A good boyfriend won’t bring up ex-girlfriends (he will probably avoid the subject at all costs)… and if you ever see them out he should remind you that you’re the one for him, not her.
A good boyfriend will be as affectionate as you (even if it’s just when you’re home alone) because if not, there will be serious problems.
You and your boyfriend need to be on the same page, or at least in the same chapter about important things. You will know if you are.
Chances are, you aren’t psycho, and don’t let anyone ever tell you or try to convince you that you are. You’re just with the wrong person, trust me.