6 Reasons Cats Are Actually Furry Feline Feminists

Jokes about cat ladies abound in popular culture. Once, the cat lady instantly sparked images of a frumpy old lady with wild and crazy hair living in small home or apartment overrun with cats. The cat lady is often an eccentric spinster who may or may not smell like mothballs.

Now, “cat lady” is also tied to feminism. Feminists have taken off with it, as you can see with the popular online movements of “Confused Cats Against Feminism” and “Cats Against Catcalls.” There are even feminist cat shirts, mugs, and phone cases.

I approve of the feminist cat lady. After all, cats are the perfect feminist companion, because they’re also feminists. Here are a few of the reasons your cat is (not so secretly) a feminist:

1. Cats believe in equality

Have you met a cat? They love, hate, ignore, or accept you without discrimination. All humans – regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, ability, religion, age – are fair game in the world of cats.

I know, some may argue that cats really believe in their brand of furry feline superiority. In reality, cats are simply complicated critters who love what they love and have moods too – just like humans.

2. Cats are body positive

Cats don’t give one hoot about their size. Period. Really, their idea of space is to fill it with as much of their cat essence as possible. As such, the bigger the body, the easier it is to fill up the space. And wherever your cat isn’t, you can be sure to find cat hair.

Also, if you’re their human, your body is magically transformed into a cat jungle gym. This could mean using your butt as a kitty trampoline, climbing on your shoulders as you pee, and nestling into the crook of your knees for a nap. They don’t care how fat, skinny, or lumpy your body is…they love you anyway.

3. Cats are also food positive

Hear that can opening? The cat sure does. And the cat will come running from any corner of the house for whatever is in that can. My cats are constantly disappointed when their resident human vegetarian opens a can a mandarin oranges, but pleased as punch when their other human opens canned chicken

Cats love food. They don’t worry about those extra 5 lbs and know they deserve all the delicious food in the entire world. If they’ve had a rough day, they are completely okay eating that extra kitty treat.

4. Cats are sex positive!

Have you ever walked in on your cat fiercely licking his penis? I have. Everyday. He does it everywhere, because I live in his apartment and I should just accept that if he wants to lick himself, it’s is kitty given right to do so. Sometimes he gets so into it, he falls right over. Other cats are more “zen” about their self-pleasuring experiences, but hey, to each their furry own. If your cat isn’t fixed, well, then they’re probably extra sex positive.

The point is that cats don’t feel shame about their kitty sexuality, whatever that may be or entail.

5. Cats are insatiably curious

Like feminists, cats want to know why. Can’t you just see it in their eyes as they watch you do something like take a shower? Or open that can of mandarin oranges? Sure, their priorities are a bit different than your average feminist – who wants to know why the patriarchy is STILL alive and standing – but our curiosity and questioning of the world brings us together.

6. Cats don’t give a damn what you think

Cats do what they’re going to do…and no human is going to tell them otherwise! Uncomfortable with their furry little bodies? Pfft. Uncomfortable with their eating habits? Pfft. Uncomfortable with an intense “zen” penis licking session in the middle of the dining room table? Extra PFFT.

If you aren’t comfortable with the antics of your kitty companion, back off, or risk the wrath of Cat. TC mark

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus