1. Because you’re going to feel bad about yourself
I want to start with the most obvious reason first (and we all know this, but a reminder can be useful). No good ever came from Facebook stalking your main squeeze’s ex. No. Good. You will inevitably feel emotions that are not productive or healthy, and definitely not sane. You will find out the information you were looking for and immediately want to take it back. Mostly, you will compare yourself to this person in every which way — and very rarely does that ever end with, “I looked up my boyfriends/girlfriends ex and now I feel way better about myself.”
2. There are two sides to every story
“She was crazy” is hardly the whole scope of a relationship. You’re comfortable with the story — this one sided story of how things went down with their ex — and once you look them, up it’s hard not to get the sense that maybe, that’s not exactly how things went down. Once you put a human face to the I’d-rather-not-remember-her name ex you’ll find that perhaps crazy was a bit of an exaggeration. You’ll see pictures of them at happier times leaving you to wonder why these two kids ever broke up in the first place. That feeling will bring you to place even the least jealous person in the world can’t hide from.
3. … and it’s not always a very accurate one
On the flip side, Facebook and Instagram are supposed to be the best versions of what our lives are actually like. What it definitely won’t show you are the small moments that weren’t picture perfect. There will be no proof of all those small cracks that turned into big cracks that broke their relationship. There’s no hashtag for #wantedtokillher or #hewassuchanasshole that make it look like these two people were not meant to be, and trust me — there are a lot more moments like that than anything they still have tagged of each other on Facebook.
4. It’s kind of creepy
The thing about Facebook stalking is IT HAS THE WORD STALKING IN IT! Sure, we all post pictures and things we want other people to see and know about us, but now that Facebook has officially been around for 11 years, it’s hard to justify every single thing we ever liked or posted. Which is why creeping through old memories of past relationships is pretty much akin to a weird form of amateur spy school.
5. Because jealously isn’t pretty, especially when it’s focused on someone who already had their chance.
Playful jealousy here and there can be cute and kind of sexy when it’s not directed at anyone in particular, but jealously of this nature does not belong in any relationship. While it makes sense that some feelings of insecurity and pure curiosity can be derived from looking up someone’s ex, jealousy is not one of those emotions. Not to mention — why are you jealous of someone who ruined their chances in the first place!??
6. You already know you don’t like them
Even if they are the best, most well intentioned person in the world it doesn’t matter, you kind of already don’t like them based on the fact that no matter what transpired they had a chance at someone you care about and they ruined it. How could you not hate that person even a little? Nothing you see on Facebook (or otherwise) is ever going to make you like them more, so why even bother?
7. No amount of stalking will answer the questions you should just ask your significant other.
No one can blame you for being curious, especially if it was a long relationship. But looking, assuming, and drawing wild conclusions about this person based on what you find out online isn’t fair to the person your with. The best thing is to be in a relationship where talk about your ex’s and your past relationships is on the table so you don’t have to wonder about his/her ex at all.