1. The Martyr
Admit it, you’re a snot dripping walking flu stick and yet there you are sitting at your desk just waiting for someone to notice how you selflessly got out of bed to come to work. Maybe you actually have work to do or maybe you’re just out of sick time — but either way there you are, infecting the whole office when all you really wanna do is go right back to bed. No one is impressed you got up and came to work anyway because next week when the entire office is down you’ll be the only one to blame.
2. The Denier
You’re the person that tries to explain away their worsening sniffles as “allergies” for a week straight while inwardly dying. You’re often heard proudly proclaiming how they “never get sick” right before the come down with strep throat. Usually you spend the first half of your cold’s going about life as usual while other people try to convince them to see a doctor. Then, by the time you accept that they are indeed sick, it’s over.
3. The Complainer
Before you even feel a tickle in your throat you’re already complaining about how this flu season is suppose to be the worst ever. Then you complain about how annoying and cumbersome it is to take time off to be sick. After that is a bunch of complaints about cold medicine, how sick you feel, and how you think everyone should carry hand sanitizer at their desk. When you finally do get sick everyone is happy because they no longer have to hear you complain anymore.
4. The Child
When you get sick all of a sudden you’re four years old again and you revel in people bringing you soup, tissues, and tea. Whether it be a significant other, a friend, or your actual mom you look forward to these few days a year when you legitimately feel like death and thus get to forget about grown-up responsibilities until you are well again.
5. The Hermit
You don’t need anyone when you’re sick — you just chug a bottle of NyQuil and wake up four days later refreshed and healed. While you are in the flu-like stupor, many people will try to assess if you are alive and need anything – but you prefer no one see you or your house in this state. You stockpile enough medication during your off sick time to rival a small pharmacy, and you prefer blacked out curtains to keep you from seeing what the rest of the free world is enjoying while you have a fever.
6. The 1st Time Away From Home
This type is reserved for college freshmen only. It’s really before you’ve developed a sick type because you’re just so used to coming downstairs to a parent feeling your forehead and then taking care of everything from there. Now you’re sick. You find yourself in a grocery store barely breathing as you stand helplessly in the medicine aisle where you call your mom no less than 5 times. As impossible as it seems she is having a harder time with you being sick and away from home than you are. You go to the doctor because, you know, it could be Ebola, and then after spending no less than 2 hours in a waiting room decide to go home, sleep it off, and live to fight another day.