Thank baby Jesus, football is back! It was a great weekend of college football and it is about to get even better today — and with a glorious glorious, Sunday filled day of NFL football. For me, kickoff weekend is tantamount to Christmas because I’ll live and breathe NFL for the next 17 weeks. Power rankings, shit talking, Dave Dameshek Podcast listening to full-fledged football fanatic. It would be weird if there weren’t thousand of female football fans feeling the exact same way.
1. No, we didn’t pick the team we like because the quarterback is hott.
I’m a Patriots fan so I get this a lot. I’ll be talking about football and their team, then they’ll ask me mine and as soon as I say Patriots they say, “Oh because you think Tom Brady’s hot?” Eureka! You figured me out. It has nothing to do with any actual football knowldge, just my desire to bang the quarterback. Is there a more condescending question that this?
2. We are capable of talking just as much shit as all the boys.
Oh, I’m sorry, did I offend you with my comment about how watching the Jets offense fills me with the same amount of digust as watching Rex Ryan stuff his face with hot dogs on the sidelines?! Would it make you more comfortable if I just sat here and looked pretty? Too bad, get your teams to stop sucking so much and I’d have less to say. Just because I’m usually in heels and a pencil skirt does not mean I will not cut you down come Sunday, don’t let the boobs fool you.
3. Pink jerseys are ridiculous.
Please do not ever get a lady football fan one of these or else we will be compelled to get you a matching one for your team.
4. Don’t underestimate us if we’re in your Fantasy League.
I mean you could, but then you would lose.
5. We usually come from big football families, so proceed with cation.
Someone somewhere had to get us this hooked, and more likely than not it was our families who didn’t care if we played around in a pink tutu, because football season was for everyone. My whole family is so big into football that my grandmother (rest her soul) use to spend Sunday’s with a martini in her hand and the remote on her lap crazily screaming at the TV. That’s what I think is normal behavior for 17 weeks a year because that’s my WHOLE FAMILY IN A NUTSHELL.
6. There’s nothing sexier than a girl who flips to NBC Sunday Night Football instead of The Bachelor
I mean if I wrote one of those “Date a girl who…” articles it would include the words “… who knows Sportcenter sportscasters by name”. I know, not every guy is into sports let alone football, but a girl who loves football is passionate, loyal, intense, and most definitely entertaining, so, you know, if you’re into that….
7. We love to win
They say winning isn’t everything but with football winning is everything and that’s ok. There are a lot of sexist rules that say winning isn’t “lady like” and that “composure is key” but with football it doesn’t matter. From the go hard or go home Saturday NCAA games to Thursday, Sunday, and Monday night NFL, we all can agree on one thing – we want to win and we want to win big.