1. Great, now I gotta see this shit on my newsfeed.
2. How is this person getting married?
3. How is this person getting married BEFORE ME?
4. Awww but they look so cute, I wonder if they’ll invite me to their wedding.
5. Wait – how am I old enough to consider getting invited to a wedding of someone I’m not related to?
6. I can’t even properly take care of myself so why would I bring another individual into this mess.
7. I mean, have you seen the girl/guys our age!? No way I could deal with that all day, every day. Nope.
8. I won’t die alone, right?
9. Well now it’ll just be statuses about the wedding and #engagedlife
10. Do they even know how much weddings cost?! They cost the equivalent of 3000 happy hours. 3000!
11. They probably won’t last though, you know because getting married young and stuff.
12. You see, I’ve already spent too much energy caring about this.
13. I wonder where they’re going on their honeymoon?
14. I did not know it was possible to feel annoyed, slightly jealous, and horrified all at the same time.
15. I’m very happy for them though.