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Now Accepting Boyfriend Applications

It’s been a reasonable humiliating amount of time since I’ve had a long-term, serious relationship, and I finally feel emotionally ready to henpeck someone into oblivion again. I’ve taken my time, gone on many dates, resisted settling, broken a few hearts (but never had mine broken—insert robotic laugh here) and I feel I have a good handle on exactly what I want in my life.

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