1. Following each other around a house party because you don’t know anyone else, and don’t want to be trapped in one of those terrible small talks that somehow lasts a full 30 minutes because your drink is full and you can’t be like “I have to get another drink, be right back” and then never come back.
2. Swooping in and saving each other when you see them trapped in one of said terrible conversations.
3. Dropping everything when a devastating breakup occurs, and coming over with the three Rs:
-Readiness to listen to your best friend talk shit about the ex for three hours while occasionally adding “what an asshole,” or “we gotta go out dancing so you can make out with a hot rando.”
4. Calling each other during a horrible first date so you can be like “Hello yes something terrible happened” and they can freak out and be like “OH MY GOD A CLOSE FAMILY MEMBER IS IN DANGER I MUST LEAVE RIGHT NOW.”
5. Texting during really boring work or school events that they have to sit through, so that they can spend the whole time complaining about it and making poetry out of emojis instead of paying attention.
6. Showing each other pictures of either the ex’s new girlfriend, or the current’s ex-girlfriend, so that you can both hate with the fire of a thousand suns.
7. Making up elaborate dance combinations to shared favorite songs so that you both have something to do during long road trips, even if that means listening to “Be A Man” from Mulan 75 times in a row so you can get the combination perfect.
8. Throwing adult sleepovers, and not finding them weird or unnecessary in the least. (Isn’t the point of having our own apartments that we can have sleepover whenever we want, and we don’t have to steal the alcohol??)
9. Knowing coffee orders by heart, and bringing them to each other for no reason (except that reason is actually because you know that they’ll do it for you next time.)
10. Keeping track when the other one is in total sHwAsTeD mEsS mode at the bar so that you can tell them exactly what they did the next day over hungover food.
11. (Speaking of which, only best friends can perfectly tune in to one another’s wavelengths when it comes to the best hangover activities/food. Ours happens to be spending the day in our pajamas watching cartoons and eating Hot Fries, candy, and possibly some sort of upscale fast food, such as Chick Fil A).
12. Being TOTALLY free of judgment when it comes to food. You never give each other weird looks or snotty comments when you order the bacon cheddar fries, because you’re too busy fighting over who gets the last one. Also you both know that life is way too short not to order dessert.
13. Helping put together the perfect outfit for any occasion, which usually consists of two things:
-Being honest about what looks good and what doesn’t, where a lesser friend would be like ‘oh you look so cute’ when you actually look like a pregnant shower curtain.
-Lending you stuff that completes the look, while threatening you with your life if you don’t give it back.
14. Knowing what’s important, aka dropping dumb arguments when something important (or really funny) comes up, because you know that you’re both just letting your pride get in the way.
15. Sizing up a new potential date and giving a completely honest assessment where no one else will, and preparing a very serious series of questions that must be asked if they expect to be a part of your life.
16. Either dragging each other out when they were going to be a hermit crab over the weekend, or curling up together and watching movies so you don’t have to put on pants all weekend. (And somehow you’re always right about what the other one needs any given weekend.)
17. Having four-hour conversations about nothing in particular, and only hanging up when you look at the clock and are like “Oh, shit, it’s 2 in the morning. I should probably go to bed now.”
18. Not judging when they say “I’m going to bed” and then you spot them online 20 minutes later.
19. Being there for the extremely important events in life, no exceptions, but still keeping them tied down to earth. “I love you and I am so happy for you, and I can’t wait to help you plan your wedding, but you need to calm the fuck down because you are stressing me out so much right now” is something only a true best friend knows how to say, when the time comes.