1. Every day starts off on the right foot — with a big cup of coffee and a status update about how much you love coffee.
2. If you don’t get your coffee, the only remedy to this is either a meme or web comic about how no one should talk to you if you haven’t had your coffee!
3. You have multiple albums of photos of your child(ren), including a “Best Of” album that probably includes pictures of them you’ve already posted.
4. There is no occasion — your birthday, their birthday, their graduation, your anniversary, Christmas, Easter, Arbor Day — too small to share a picture and a two-paragraph-long caption about watching your child grow up.
5. Sometimes, when you’re feeling a little saucy, you post a meme about wine!
6. Sometimes, when you’re feeling a little sad, you post memes about animals that are being mistreated at the pound. We have to help them!
7. The best place to write unrelated questions about how your child’s new job is going is under a status update they wrote about going to a party.
8. Sometimes, if your child writes a sad status update, you leave a nice comment with lots of smileys and exclamation points about how they should not be sad!!! :)
9. Pentatonix videos are your favorite.
10. You often tag yourself in pictures of your kid, and no one fully understands why.
11. Your kids know that if they message you on Facebook, you will respond at a rate of 3x faster than if they were to text or email.
12. Sometimes, if your kids aren’t on vacation with you, you’ll share photos like this:
13. Putting up pictures of your child against their will is kind of your hobby.
14. Many of your profile pictures are oddly cropped, and are sometimes just tiny images in the corner of a vast white space.
15. Every day is Throwback Thursday on your profile.
16. At the end of a long week, nothing ties things together quite like a meme about how much you need a drink.
17. In your lifetime, you have typed the word “Hubby” “Hub” or “Hubster” in reference to the man you have chosen to spend your life with.
18. Your sidebar is a blur of coupon-clipping ads and Ann Taylor Loft sales.
19. You repost fanatical GMO-free statements from various health pages of dubious scientific quality.
20. There is no post your child can make that is not deserving of a “like” or comment, even if it’s just a comment to signify how confused you are.
21. You love organic snack foods, your pet, and telling your child they look beautiful via Facebook comment. And not in that order.