To All The Girls Getting Engaged On Facebook

I should start by admitting that, in my occasional moments of moral weakness, I have hated on you. I have made a snarky comment over Gchat to a trusted friend about the teardrop-cut of your ring or the suspenders your fiancé wore in the announcement photo shoot. For that, I apologize. There is truly nothing more ugly than degrading someone else’s moment of happiness, and there’s no excuse. In light of my former indiscretions, and on behalf of everyone else’s rampant hating, I just want to say one thing to you:

You go, girl.

And I don’t mean that in a flippant, 90s-era catchphrase way, either. I want you to literally go forward in your journey to the altar and do it all while shining brighter than the diamond you are prominently featuring on your left hand. I want you to enjoy your moment in the sun and your commitment to the person you love, and do it with a complete disregard for what the peanut gallery might be snickering to one another about when you post a new status update about the Big Day. They may not be jealous, per se, but there is a part of them that feels personally aggressed by your happiness and your decision to be so public with it, and you have to understand that it should not be taken personally.

(Also, some of them are just jealous.)

Many of you, I imagine, are in your 20s, and so you know as well as anyone that your nuptials do not stand alone atop the Pride Rock that is your friends’ news feeds. Everyone is getting engaged, it can often feel, and so sometimes your announcement just happens to be the straw that breaks the proverbial camel’s back. Weddings are expensive for their guests, and often involve quite a lot of planning for something they are not directly benefiting from. Appreciate this, and understand that it may contribute to the weird backlash against social media wedding stuff pretty heavily (even if it doesn’t excuse it).

You are living an amazing moment, something that many people dream of and not everyone will get to participate in. While you field the backhanded compliments or passive-aggressive subtweets about how much stupid wedding shit people are posting, remember that the snarky whispering is nothing in the face of the incredible choices you are making. What should matter is your life partner, your family, and the insurmountable mountain of tedious calligraphy that stands in front of you. The haters may hate, but you are about to get fucking married. Post every damn picture you want of this special time, and don’t let anyone stand in your fabulous way. TC mark

image – ilovebutter

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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  • http://hmstewart.wordpress.com Holly Stewart

    Reblogged this on inarticulate ramblings of unintelligible sorts. and commented:
    perfection.

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