1. Purple Fatigue
The strangely exhausting feeling that accompanies Marie’s more calm scenes, when we are reminded of the shoplifting, compulsive lying, Pier 1-purple world that she lives in when she’s not freaking out about being framed for meth production. In between her rightful rage, we remember that she’s kind of a really frustrating and cloying character who we used to hate so much (remember how cathartic it was when Skyler finally screamed at her to shut up?). Of course Marie has her right to be mad — even if she likes sticking the knife in and watching it twist, à la sitting there while Skyler tells Walt Jr everything — but you still kind of hate her for her gaudy taste in color schemes and the fact that she never got taken down for being an undeniably terrible/hypocritical person. Ugh.
Though Hank is a bear of a man who wouldn’t be out of place at the world’s most middle-aged-fratty tailgate, and his morals seem to change drastically based on who he is holding accountable or putting in danger, there is a stubborn sense of honor there that you just can’t help empathizing with. When he refused to beg, when he still reached for Gomie’s gun even though he was clearly fifty shades of fucked, the viewers all got a little twinge of pride on his behalf. Hank has got his flaws, but he’s not going out like a bitch.
When you see your poor lil bb Jesse just getting his heart repeatedly ripped out of his chest by his father-figure-turned-satan-figure Walt, and all you wanna do is reach through the screen and hug his poor, tortured lil body and tell him that it’s okay, and that he doesn’t have any more loved ones for Walt to poison/watch die/threaten. You are overwhelmed with Jessefeels, one devastating realization at a time.
4. Phantom Breakfast
When you have flashes of the charming way things used to be, when everyone was at least something resembling a family unit, when Walt Jr still had his morning breakfast. You can smell the bacon, you can hear the cereal pouring gently out of the box, and you can see Walt Jr’s charming smile as he looks at the father he so adores and admires. And then you break down into the fetal position and cry, because you know that breakfast will never, ever come.
The palpable feeling of pride, justice, and honor that rises within you — even if you are largely indifferent to Skyler as a character — when you hear someone go off on her unfairly while acting as though Walt is some precious martyr. You’re not going to stand for that misogynist mess, and you feel that salty Skylerlove rising up in your chest as you go to battle with the Sword Of Reasonable Character Interpretation.
6. Gomie Withdrawal
That feeling when you realize that, though we barely knew ye, Gomie was one of the only morally solid characters in the whole show. And you wish you had appreciated him more while he lasted.
7. Walt Tear Allergy
The rising feeling of dread as you realize that, no matter how much of an enormous toolbag/devil/murderous rectal polyp Walter White is, seeing him shed a stoic tear over the loss of his family is still going to drag out some reluctant sympathy in the last Walt-loving bone in your body. His sadness is still going to be, in some ways, your sadness. You don’t want to care about him anymore — because he’s terrible, of course — but you kind of do a little tiny bit. But then you hate him… but those tears tho…
The happiness that overcomes you when you realize you’re in for a Saul scene, no matter how brief. You know that, no matter what’s going on, there’s going to be a moment of humor and relative levity that will help you forget just how oppressive everything has been for the past few episodes. You can just sit back, relax, and get ready to enjoy his giant drawer full of busted-ass Nokia phones. Oh, Saul. <3
The blind rage you fly into when you see the Nazis taking Walt’s money, killing people with abandon, or generally just being horrible Nazi assholes. Often accompanied by The Todd Creeps, which are the creeps you get when you remember how incredibly fucking creepy Todd is.
When you see the precious baby and you’re just like, “babyyyyyyyy,” because sometimes you forget there is even a baby in all of this and then you’re like “Run, Holly, use those undeveloped little legs and get the hell away from your horrifying family.”