19 Status Updates You Will See About Kate & Will’s Baby

19 Status Updates You Will See About Kate & Will's Baby

1. “OMG I AM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!!11”

2. “She is going to make the most beautiful mother, she is really a wonderful person inside and out, I am just so happy for all of this.”

3. “First she’s flopping her titties out for the world to see and now she wants to be a mom? #GetItTogether”

4. “She is gonna get sooooooo fat.”

5. “If only this was going to bring Will’s hair back. :(”

6. “I really feel like we have more important things as a society to worry about than the mundane goings-on of a couple who is literally millions of times more wealthy than most of the world’s population will ever be for doing absolutely nothing of function.”

7. “They are so important to Britain’s tourism!! Don’t forget that!!”

8. “Umm so apparently that famous British couple is going to have a baby now? I guess I’m supposed to really care about this for some inexplicable reason?”

9. “Oh great, yet another celebrity baby that everyone is going to obsess over and completely ruin the chance for it to have a semi-normal life not plagued by drug and alcohol addiction.”

10. “OMG this is so exciting I <3 England. #RoyalLove" (This will most likely come from the person who tends to be impressed with literally anything that features a British accent.)

11. "Fuck England."

12. "[Insert meme of the Queen looking old and saying something crabby about how she used to own countries and now she's going to have to change diapers again, or something along those lines.]"

13. "Can't wait to see Kate's maternity clothes! If only we could all get custom made peacoats to accomany our bumps! <3"

14. "Everyone please shut the fuck up about this stupid baby already, no one cares."

15. "[Article speculating on everything from the location of conception, to the potential names, to how jealous Pippa Middleton is now because SHE'S GOING TO DIE A LONELY HARPY JUST HER, HER CATS, AND HER FLAWLESS ASS.]"

16. "#TeamPippa lol."

17. "Oh wow so surprising the couple who literally gets paid to look good in public together now are having a baby that will make more money as a fetus than any of us will in our lifetimes. How shocking. /sarcasm”

18. “I hope it’s a girl so it can wear pretty princess dresses!! :)”

19. “Whatever, Harry is the hot one anyway.”

 

image – Shutterstock

Chelsea Fagan

Chelsea Fagan founded the blog The Financial Diet. She is on Twitter.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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